When I entered the restaurant, everyone was looking at me. I know, I was realizing - "It always happens to me" - First my heart started to beat fast. I felt myself blushing up to my ears. Oh my God, what if I faint? I was afraid of being disgraced. “I wonder how I look now?” “Is there something strange about me?” I couldn't stop thinking about these sentences... My eyes searched for my friends. It was the first time I planned to meet them somewhere. In fact, I often thought that I did not belong with them. They insisted me to come this time. However, I have difficulty even talking to them. I'm always worried around them. I feel different, even inferior. I think I don't fit in anywhere. It feels like they won't like me. While experiencing all this once again, I had to find an excuse and leave the restaurant. I did what I thought and walked away quickly without saying anything even though I saw them.
Does this entry sound familiar to you? You or a relative, perhaps a friend, is experiencing these. One of the reasons for this experience is the "social isolation" scheme... Our childhood does not have to be perfect in order for us to become adults who adapt well to life, but we see that positive effects emerge when it is "good enough". The answer to the question of what a child needs for his development actually lies in a number of universal needs that every human being needs to be met. A child first needs to feel safe, autonomy, self-esteem, self-expression, realistic boundaries, and connectedness with others. If these are met, the child's psychology progresses healthily. If it is missing; Early maladaptive schemas formed by the damaging effect of these unmet needs develop throughout life. These are our core beliefs about ourselves that are difficult to change. They are self-destructive patterns that begin in childhood and repeat throughout life. One of these is the "social isolation" scheme... The primary feeling this scheme makes you feel is loneliness. You see yourself as different from others, undesirable, excluded from the rest of the world. Experience intense anxiety in social environments You may feel inferior to others. You may have difficulty maintaining mutual conversations. You want to be able to answer freely, laugh and ask questions, but you avoid doing these things because what others think of you is at the center of your life. You try different ways to deal with the scheme. You surrender to the scheme, escape, or develop some form of overcompensation. One example of overcompensation is that individuals with a social isolation schema have high standards in their lives. You may have created some standards about how to be in social environments (successful, attractive…). You consider anything less than these criteria to be unacceptable to other people. However, you feel like you are constantly being examined and evaluated, and you fear being judged negatively by others. When you are among your friends or in a group, you constantly feel nervous and cannot take your attention away from yourself. For many people, thinking that they are different and left out is an experience that feels internally painful. When individuals with a social isolation scheme realize that they cannot adapt, they may become unhappiness and hopeless and experience a depressed mood due to the pain they experience. The origin of the social isolation scheme that makes life so difficult may be temperament. However, growing up in a family that is different from others and having parents who are overly critical can trigger the schema. These people may have been criticized by their parents for not being good enough or for how they look or talk. One of the important points when combating the social isolation scheme is to encourage the individual to develop an active personality with his own identity and preferences. It is convenient to be able to show the difference between what the individual believes and the reality that actually exists. Let's not forget that even if you have a child who may have difficulty socializing due to temperament, these children who receive adequate parental care will be able to overcome the situation easily and socialize more easily.
Read: 0
