An Irish proverb says: “Young people do not know what old age is; "Old people forget what youth is." Human beings go through different developmental periods from the first stage of life to the last stage. Adolescence, which is the most important age of this developmental period, is the transition period between childhood and adulthood. It is a major change process that begins with physical and psychological development. On the one hand, adolescents cannot wait to grow up, but they cannot give up their childish behavior. During this period, he is neither an adult nor a child, he is just an individual struggling to establish his own identity and gain his independence. The rapid growth that begins with adolescence ends when the person completes the physiological, psychological and sexual maturation process before adulthood.
Adolescence, which is described as a stormy period, is the period in which physiological changes occur the most and fastest. In general, the age of puberty begins at the age of 11-12 for girls and at the age of 12-14 for boys. Girls enter puberty 1-2 years before boys and complete their growth and sexual maturity 1-2 years earlier. This period may vary from person to person. Differences according to gender during adolescence do not show very striking features, but there are differences in terms of the duration of the period and the stages of physical or spiritual development. For one person, this period may begin at age 11, while for another person it may begin at age 13. There is no exact time period.
The main feature of adolescence is "role confusion versus identity acquisition". During this period, they look for answers to the questions "Who am I?" and "What Kind of Person Should I Be?" Adolescents attach great importance to their physical appearance, they enjoy attracting the attention of the opposite sex and being the center of attention in their environment. In order to achieve their own identity, adolescents look for different person/s to be their role models. This search for different role models is similar to an adolescent adjusting his/her own personality and putting on new clothes until he finds the clothing style that suits him best. Adolescents should have family members whom they can take as role models. For girls, mother, boy For their children, fathers are the most suitable candidates for this role.
Recommendations for Parents
- Parents should first of all be aware that this period is a part of development and an active period.
- Parents should create common values by establishing balanced and regular communication in order to eliminate the generation conflict between themselves and their children. To the extent that the adolescent trusts his parents, he shares his problems with them and thus facilitates the solution. During this period, adolescents want to prove that they exist with other desires and other expectations, independent of their parents, and they want to be set free.
In case of frustration, they may engage in rebellious attitudes and behavior towards their parents.
Parents should not forget that hormonal activities in the body are at their highest level during this period. If they know this, they can more easily understand their children's sudden outbursts of anger, indecisiveness, contradictions, intense feelings of insecurity or overconfidence, rebellion against everyone and everything, fragility, crying spells, frequent changes of friends, and depression.
- They should be especially careful not to humiliate the adolescent in front of others, not to criticize him, and not to compare his behavior with others.
- The adolescent, who gains new opportunities during adolescence, tries to have himself accepted as an adult and often rebels when he is treated like a child due to his behavior.
- Parents should provide the necessary support and trust for the adolescent by reminding him verbally and through behavior that he is no longer a child. For example, one day: "You're just a kid, you can't do this!" An adult said on another day: "You have become a big man, how can you still not do it!" This accusation is a reason that pushes the adolescent into contradiction and indecision.
- The adolescent's opinions and thoughts should never be met with a smile or a sarcastic laugh.
- There may be a decrease in academic success during this period. Oppressive-authoritarian parental approach based on pressure and obstruction An understanding of the plan can turn this period into a period full of conflicts. Instead of an authoritarian parental approach, a more understanding, guiding parental approach should be adopted.
Adolescence is a period and it is possible to get through this period in a healthy way with a caring, respectful, understanding, patient and loving attitude. Adolescents can develop a healthy identity with identification models that do not judge them, accept them without criticism, show them respect, love, and provide their trust and support. It's the adults who need to change here, not the children. They are just going through the natural course of their development. Adolescents need guiding parents rather than friend parents. Of course, for this to happen, parents must have overcome their own adolescence.
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