The Cornerstone of Communication: Listening

Listening is an essential part of communication. In a mutual or one-sided communication, it is possible to participate in the communication only by 'listening'. Communication that takes place in any other way gives rise to misunderstandings and communication conflicts. There are also different types of listening: they are classified as: 'ostensible' listening, 'selective', 'obsessive', 'defensive', 'trap-setting' and 'superficial'. As you can understand from their names, these types of listening are listening styles that occur everywhere in our lives, at every moment. If you have ever stopped to think about 'what a correct communication should be like' or 'how can I express myself better', you can first review which of these listening styles you use in daily life and take the healthiest step towards finding what actually needs to happen. Now, if we briefly take a look at these listening styles;

On the surface: You seem to be listening to the person being spoken to, but in fact you are busy shaping in your mind what you will say when it is your turn. In the meantime, you will miss what the other person wants to tell you and communication becomes superficial, giving rise to misunderstandings.

Selectively: It is listening that is done by being selective in perception and hearing only the parts of the speaker's discourse that arouse your own interest and curiosity. The person only seems to 'listen' to the other words of the speaker.

Obsessive: It is a listening based on emotional and ideological obsessions. The person evaluates the conversations in this direction.

Advocate: All the words spoken contain a criticism or insult towards the listener's self. A meaning is searched for in almost every word, and self-defense-based speeches are made when responding.

Snapper: I don't know if you've ever encountered this before, but with a very tense attitude; This 'type of listener', who listens silently in ambush to catch the missing side of the speaker, is always looking for your weakness to put you in a difficult situation.

Superficial: What the speaker says is generally a form of listening that is independent of the environment and conditions and without taking into account what is wanted to be said. . Literal meanings are always inferred; As a result, the other party cannot explain their problem.

If we question whether we take part in these types of listening styles in the important conversations we have in our lives; Maybe we will understand better where we made mistakes.

 

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