The feeling of success is a healthy feeling that every person should have, that develops the person, gives satisfaction to the person, and makes the person feel self-esteem. Feeling successful in any field or several fields is a very healthy situation for one's development. Every person has situations where they succeed and fail. There is no problem as long as the feelings of both situations are not excessive. In this article, we will give information about overdoing it, that is, about feeling like a constant failure.
The feeling of failure is about not feeling competent enough in any subject. The person constantly feels inadequate when it comes to being successful. One of the most important situations is that the person often compares himself with others. He thinks that other people are more successful, more competent, smarter, etc. thinks it is. This situation causes the person to lose his self-esteem over time. When a person fails in anything, he/she begins to experience intense negative emotions. For example, he feels humiliated in case of any failure at work. A person who experiences the feeling of failure intensely thinks that he has no talent, especially in any subject, and often works below his potential. While the person does not care about the positive situations about himself, he attaches great importance to the negative situations. Thus, the person truly believes that he has failed. All of these make the person feel more depressed. After a while, the person will start to move away from the work he needs to do in order to avoid the possibility of failure, and this will further increase his intense feelings of failure. A person who feels depressed and experiences the feeling of failure intensely cannot have intense motivation for change. That's why they have little motivation for change.
Why Do I Always Feel Like a Failure?
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The person who constantly feels like a failure has these feelings The underlying cause is often childhood failures. For example, some parents want their children to be very successful. That's why their children's normal achievements are not enough for parents. With this type of parent r unknowingly criticized their children and made them feel like failures.
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When one or both parents are very successful, the child begins to feel like a failure. That's why he has to struggle with the feeling of failure in his adulthood.
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The success of the child whose parents do not care about his success in adulthood It has been observed that he experiences feelings of failure intensely.
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One of the most important situations that causes feelings of failure is that the person was exposed to someone by his relatives during his childhood. is that it is compared. In particular, being compared to a sibling or friend reinforces the person's feeling of failure, causing these feelings to continue in adulthood.
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Damaging a person's self-esteem in situations such as being an immigrant, trying to adapt to a different culture, or being socioeconomically different from the environment It creates feelings of failure.
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If limits and rules were not set during childhood, the person may not have learned to be disciplined. This situation prevents the person from developing responsibility-taking skills. As a result of all this, the person will feel quite unsuccessful.
Life becomes difficult for people who often feel unsuccessful. Among the reasons for this situation: The person cannot take the necessary steps to develop concrete skills or has difficulty in taking these steps, the person works below his potential or chooses a profession, working in an entry-level job, situations such as being late at work, procrastination, poor performance, etc. These include having problems focusing on a career and therefore not being able to specialize in a field, hesitating to work independently or taking initiative, underestimating one's own skills and abilities, exaggerating one's failures, and avoiding steps to be taken for self-improvement.
What Can Be Done to Get Rid of Feelings of Failure?
First of all, it must be determined whether the feelings of failure are real or whether these feelings are caused by distorted thoughts. It is very important to evaluate the reality of feelings of failure. Some people are successful in real life, but still often feel like failures. Feelings of failure should be frequently linked to the past. Where do these feelings come from? What situations in the past have made you feel like a failure? How were these situations reinforced afterwards? By asking such questions, connections in childhood should be established and the emotions there should be experienced. For example, a person who is constantly criticized by his or her parent may feel anger towards his or her parent. After establishing these connections and experiencing the emotions there, the person should think about his childhood achievements, strong talents, and positive aspects. This will enable the person to evaluate himself more objectively. Likewise, the person should gain awareness of his own abilities and skills in the current situation. Everyone has an area they are good at and that area needs to improve. People who experience intense feelings of failure often do not improve themselves in the things they are good at because they think they are not good at anything. For this reason, it is very important to first recognize a talented and skillful side and develop this side. For this, a list should be made so that the person can evaluate himself more objectively.
The person should make an effort to change his behavior. For example, a person who feels unsuccessful will often avoid responsibilities and starting a job alone. This trend needs to be greatly reduced. The act of running away will further increase a person's feelings of failure.
Some people are truly failures in life, so they often feel like failures. Such people are advised to recognize the things they are good at and take steps to improve in this area. A list of the situations that caused them to fail should also be made. For example, not being disciplined may cause it to fail. After the list of situations that cause failure is made, certain actions should be taken to eliminate these situations.
Another way to overcome the feeling of failure is psychotherapy. The items listed above are also discussed in detail in psychotherapy, and special sessions are conducted for each client. The feeling of failure often does not go away on its own, on the contrary, it continues to increase throughout life. Psychotherapy provides people with a long-term treatment opportunity and also aims to help clients have healthier emotions and thoughts and maintain their living standards at a more positive level. The therapy methods to be used here vary depending on the client. A personalized program helps the person overcome the feeling of failure.
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