As time flowed like a river, months followed months, and the summer holiday that children were waiting for by counting the days began. We are in a period where parents are both happy that the school routine, the stress of homework, and the rush to catch the bus are over, and now they are worried about how to spend time with their child throughout the summer. Generally, plans and programs are made for summer holiday activities, but most of them cannot be realized due to the heat and the mischievous attitudes of children who are focused on comfort. After a while, parents leave their children to their own devices and become uneasy about it. While you are struggling between disciplining your children or letting them go, summer ends quickly.
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Should I Study in Summer?
As for children, I can do whatever I want with the justified relief and irresponsibility of ending a busy and tiring period. They start their holiday with good mood and motivation. Of course, while we respect these rights and give them the opportunity to relax, we should emphasize that people can be happy as they learn, discover and produce, and determine their areas of social and personal responsibility together, and create our verbal and non-verbal contract within the family with their participation. So, when the topic starts with education, let's continue from there. Regardless of his academic success, he should be encouraged to study and acquire the habit of reading books in order to strengthen and reinforce his missing lessons from fun holiday books, even if the summer is not as intense and programmed as in school. Should it pass?
And the second item is the possibility of children spending too much time in front of the computer, which is a nightmare for parents. Of course, we will try to be more flexible and controlled in this regard. These suggestions and controls will take a healthy form when they are continued through consultation and follow-up, not as demands. We know that we can attract their attention in a positive direction, not by obstacles and prohibitions, but by creating useful and enjoyable alternatives.
These alternatives are of course many, and we may be overestimating the situation by evaluating whether we have a lot of time, a lot of effort, and enough opportunities. However, the special moments that we will sprinkle into the routine will place special meanings in ordinary moments. When we say it, the purpose has been achieved. Controlled computer and console games contribute to the development of the child. Strategy and fiction skills develop, tolerance for inadequacy and failure develops, a sense of empathy develops, distraction decreases and the ability to do several things at the same time develops, increases creativity and relieves stress, hand-eye coordination develops, foreign language develops, socialization and problem-solving skills accelerate.
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How Much Should I Care?
We are safe and loving with children and those we have close relationships with. We need intimacy based on unconditional approval and acceptance. The most important need of children among their chatter, mischief and pursuits is our natural and sincere contact. Regardless of our conditions, we can have quality interaction with them. Listening to them carefully and giving them feedback, behaving more flexible and tolerant, involving them in housework and cooking as an activity, allowing them to use the house as an exploration area or a laboratory, provided that they take responsibility, reducing our busyness that fills our day while they are at school, following us with their eyes when they are babies. Just as they analyze their emotions and make sense of themselves and life by doing so, we should also read and support their needs from their attitudes, behaviors and expressions in the context of emotions. Because family is a safe base that prepares people for life. And the more support, compassion, understanding and care the child receives in the family to be himself, the stronger the child's psychological immunity against the difficulties of life.
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How to Determine the Boundaries of Needs and Wants?
Since children have different temperaments, their characteristics, tendencies and abilities should be taken into consideration. Their age also affects their interests and reactions greatly. Just as a tree grows from its roots, we must support our child's reality based on his temperament. If we direct the child through his own wishes, desires and requirements, it will not only be unproductive, but we will also make our relationship difficult. To recognize the child's temperament, you can benefit from the 9 Types of Temperament-Enneagram test and books in this field (İsmail Acarkan's book Why Children Are Different). This is my suggestion.)
Knowing what temperament characteristics children have and recognizing their cognitive and emotional needs at different ages will help us understand their attitudes and needs and provide conscious support. For example, a success-oriented child and a child who prioritizes sociality will have different interests and what they want to do during summer vacation. When we, as parents, know this, we can open spaces according to their needs. The tendencies and attitudes of a child who wants to design at home, a child who wants to play group games with his friends, a child who prefers peace and tranquility, and a leader-spirited child cannot be the same.
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What kind of activities should we create?
Children who go to their villages or on a nature holiday experience psychological and physical harm. They may experience a more fulfilling process, but nature activities can of course be done for children who return to or stay in the city. These are not things that require a lot of time and investment, and they are a good opportunity to have a pleasant time together.
If possible, going to nearby forests or seaside places, fishing, or if it is not possible to go to a distant place, parks and landscaping in the neighborhood or on the site. Going for a walk in the fields, contacting the soil, playing sand and water games, watching the drift of the clouds and interpreting the shapes they take, observing the moon and stars at night, going to the market together and choosing vegetables and fruits together, and growing plants even in pots will relax the child.
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How much socialization should be done?
It is important for children to make new friends for their social development and preparation for life. is a factor. New forms of relationships will improve communication skills and emotional control mechanisms. He/she will become civilized by learning about acceptance and rejection in society, that is, the conditions of being accepted, approved and valued. He will develop and present his talents to reveal his difference within the group. Peer approval is a vital phenomenon during childhood and adolescence. Here, guiding the child by paying attention to comments and criticisms about his friends and communication will make it easier for the child to open up to us about the problems he encounters in social life. Always approach cautiously and without breaking contact. Interaction with relatives, friends and new acquaintances should be allowed.
What Should We Do Specially Together?
Every child wants to be unique in the eyes of his/her parent and desires to experience this special relationship from time to time. Spending time with all your children, sometimes one-on-one, prevents the child from trying to get approval from others. Sometimes going to a cafe or a tea garden and chatting with him, maybe talking about sweet secrets, childhood memories, listening to him carefully and catching what he is actually emphasizing, conveying the message that you are my one and only whom I accept in every way. Touching on life, its beauties, difficulties and values in a conversational manner. Exploring a part of the city you've never been to, doing things you don't usually do, finding a few exhibitions, museums or concert opportunities to talk about them, in short, pointing out that the boundaries of the physical and mental world are not limited to their own boundaries. It will be enjoyable to watch quality movies and documentaries.
Games enable the child to imagine the real world. Children develop through play. Participating in their games from time to time, playing games with rules or spontaneously, from rolling marbles to city names, from volleyball to making words, will improve both their soul, mind and body, and their relationship with you will strengthen. When he fills the cup of attention and love from you, we will be able to stay calm and happy in his own world.
And let's give our child the opportunity to teach five languages:
1- Developing reading skills that can use the mother tongue very well. Children who read well, understand what they read, and can express their understanding verbally and in writing have a higher life success.
2- They should learn mathematics, the language of the universe, well, so that a mind that can think scientifically and contribute to knowledge can be built. p>
3- He should have a good grasp of English, the world language, so that he can gain proficiency in whatever field he works in.
4- He should master the language of technology, the present and the future are based on this. Robotics education will be able to produce world-integrated products to the extent that technology literacy skills develop.
5- He should adopt the language of humanity. Respecting differences, empathy, kindness, It is our greatest responsibility to raise children who have the awareness of fortitude, sensitivity to the environment, awareness of responsibility, and sensitivity to national and universal values.
He should be actively involved in a sport, a music, a branch of art. In this case, we can present happy, satisfied, productive children to future generations, instead of moving into dangerous and harmful areas to discover and enjoy life.
I believe that everyone is equipped to have a quality holiday within the context of their own family values and opportunities. When we, as parents, can be aware, loving and productive, it is inevitable that our children will have a fulfilling and enjoyable time with us.
Hope you have a fruitful and enjoyable summer story.
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