One of the most important problems of children nowadays is that they have difficulty in sharing and making friends. Recently, parents have been using the following sentences a lot about their children:
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He has difficulty making friends.
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He is good with his friends. He can't get along.
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He doesn't share his toys with anyone.
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He always wants to get his own way.
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When he doesn't get his way, he gets angry or sulky.
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
With urbanization. This has led to more women entering business life and a decrease in the number of children born naturally. Turkish Statistical Institute states that the rate of households with one child is increasing rapidly.
THE NUMBER OF SIBLINGS AND FRIENDS IS DECREASING
So, what does this mean? The number of siblings decreases, which means the number of friends at home and in the neighborhood decreases. Children of one-child families living in cities meet their peers almost for the first time at nursery. Naturally, they have difficulty making friends.
Another reason why they have difficulty in sharing is the overly protective family model. The decreasing number of children causes an increase in interest in and anxiety about the child. Being an only child, sometimes an only grandchild, the fact that both parents work, and the feeling of guilt about seeing the child less often cause almost all of the child's wishes to be fulfilled. This explains very well the complaint about today's children, "He gets angry when he doesn't get his way." Insisting on sharing during the 0-3 age period is harmful. Children at this age think that everything they have an emotional connection with belongs to them and want it to continue that way. Ownership is extremely important for the development of a healthy "self-consciousness". Asking the child to share his belongings and toys in this age range is harmful to the child's development.
After the child turns 3, the family can gradually begin to emphasize sharing. Especially giving examples from life are the most effective methods. A father who buys two bagels and gives one to his wife shows sharing to his child in the best way. Sharing some of his own bagel with his child is the best example of helping him experience the concept of sharing.
DO NOT INSIST IF THE CHILD DOES NOT WANT IT
Integrates sharing within the family into life until the age of 4. It is no longer difficult for the family to explain to the child about sharing with those around them. From this period until the age of 7, it is appropriate to offer sharing with friends. If the child does not want it, you should not insist. “He will leave it when he leaves, do you want to share his toy until he leaves?” The question is important. Because the child thinks that his friend will take his toy and never give it back. This explanation relaxes him and encourages him to share.
If your child is entering a new environment, you can help introduce him to other children. Children get along easily with each other and argue easily. When there is a disagreement, instead of intervening immediately, waiting a while and giving them the opportunity to resolve it among themselves is extremely effective in strengthening their friendships.
ARE GAMES AND TOYS EFFECTIVE?
Games and toys It is one of the easiest ways to influence the child's soul. Because play is the child's first reaction to attachment. It is the stage of discovery of the world outside the mother. In fact, it is the first step to independence. The child needs to be independent in order to share what he has and make friends. The most effective way to do this is through games.
What is a game and a toy for adults is life itself for a child. A child's first shares and first friendships begin with games and toys.
Computer, phone and tablet games unfortunately negatively affect children's ability to share and make friends.
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