If Your Child Hits Others...

If a child hits others between the ages of 1-2, what could be the reason?

There are two main reasons for hitting behavior. One of these is the child's developmental characteristics and the other is external factors.

He thinks that the world revolves around him and that he can control everything. When he cannot control it as much as he wants, he gets upset and responds in unacceptable ways such as hitting, biting, and throwing. A child does not necessarily have to have seen this behavior in order to learn to hit. Negative attitudes appear as a feature of children's age and sometimes their gender.

One of the most important features of egocentrism is that the child is selfish, cannot fully understand that others have feelings, thoughts, wishes and expectations, and cannot empathize with the other person.

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Another reason for hitting behavior is that children are not able to control their impulses. An adult may not be able to control himself or herself if the environment is not suitable. However, it is not possible to see the same attitude in young children. They immediately do what they feel like.

1-2 year old children do not have the foresight to see or predict the outcome of their behavior. He sees the other person crying because he is hurting and he feels sad about it. However, there is no foresight that he should not hit in order not to hurt or upset him.

Human beings are born with aggressive tendencies that enable them to survive. However, social skills are not innate, they are acquired over time. Acquisition of social skills occurs at the age of 3 and beyond.

Since 1-2 year old children do not have the language skills to express their feelings and solve problems by speaking, they respond to a negative situation by hitting them.

             Everything. A 1-2 year old child who is curious, tries to research, and tries to learn may also try to hit because he is curious about cause-effect relationships. When a child sees a peer crying when he hits him, he wonders whether another peer will react the same way, so he hits him too. The tendency for aggression increases in children whose basic needs, such as k, are not met or whose needs are delayed.

             Lifestyle changes that create unrest, such as the arrival of a new baby at home, a change of caregiver, and being separated from parents for a long time, also make the child aggressive. p>

           A child who cannot attract enough attention when behaving well may try to attract attention by hitting.

           The harsh, aggressive attitudes of people in the child's close circle such as mothers, fathers, caregivers and siblings may increase the tendency for aggression in the child.

           A child in an overly controlled environment may show hitting behavior due to frustration.

            Aggressive behavior may also be seen in children who are not set any limits.

            Parent's depression, alcohol or addictive drugs. Frequent arguments and fights between parents cause the child to worry and show his/her anxiety by exhibiting aggressive attitudes.

* How should parents approach the child in this situation?

             Parents should remain calm in the face of hitting behavior and verbally state that this is unacceptable behavior. The child should be told that his behavior is inappropriate and this issue should not be emphasized too much. However, when the behavior repeats, it should be stated each time that this is not appropriate. Since the attention and listening span of 1-2 year old children is not long, detailed explanations and advice are useless. The instructions given to children of this age should be simple, clear and understandable.

* If the parents of a child who hits his parents or others or friends respond by hitting him, how will this be reflected on the child and what will be the consequences?

             Whether Hitting the child, whether violently or lightly, on the butt or on the hand, causes the behavior to increase rather than decrease. The easiest and healthiest way to explain to the child that hitting is inappropriate behavior is to not hit him. Because for children, everything their parents do and say is right. Parents who try to explain to their children that they should not be hit by hitting them are giving the wrong message to their children. Especially children at this age do not have the mental maturity to understand the concept of “do as I say, not as I do”.

            Parents hitting the child also causes the child to learn to hit as a problem-solving method. Children who grow up being beaten use the same method when raising their own children.

            If the parents respond by hitting the child, it causes the child's trust in both his parents and himself to be shaken.

* The child's hitting and hitting If a solution is not given to his habit, what effects will this situation have on his future social development?

           Sometimes parents can teach the child to hit as a method of self-defense. They think that a child who learns to shoot will be able to protect himself and be successful in the future. In reality, this is not the case. Because a child who harms others is not accepted by his friends, teachers and other adults. Failure to resolve or reinforce the hitting behavior causes the child to have difficulty in establishing social relationships, to be isolated from the environment, to be friends with people with similar behaviors and to be in inappropriate environments.

* What are your suggestions for the child to give up the habit of hitting? What can parents do?

• Never react by hitting a child who shows hitting behavior. This causes the behavior to be reinforced rather than reduced. Children mostly take their parents' behavior as an example.

• When hitting, warn them by saying "no one should be hit". Repeat this every time.

• When you are under stress (go somewhere) Avoid harsh behavior such as pulling or hitting (such as trying to catch up, trying to feed food).

• Make sure that the rules and boundaries you set are appropriate to the child's age and skills. Excessive rule-making or not setting any rules makes the child aggressive.

• Hitting behavior increases in a child who is constantly blocked. Instead of saying "no", offer him alternatives.

• Reward every positive behavior by saying "well done, bravo" and applauding.

• Make sure your child is not tired, sleepy, hungry or sick.

• Do calming activities such as singing, dancing, reading a book.

• Make him calm down by removing him from the environment he is in.

• When you think he might hit, try to stop the behavior before it happens.

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