CHAIN-TOOLED EMOTION BOX
EMOTION SUPPRESSION SCHEME
“Just as Pandora's box was boiling with evil, my box was also boiling with the emotions I had thrown in. I was extremely afraid that my feelings, which I had thrown into the box before, would find an opportunity and come to light. Just as Pandora's box is opened and destroys the world; If my box was opened, it would destroy my world. I couldn't even imagine that those feelings I had thrown inside were wandering around. That would definitely be the end of me. All my relationships with people, good or bad, would be turned upside down, no one would want or love me again. Of course I couldn't afford it. And my last resort was to chain the box and that's what I did. I am very peaceful now. Do not consider me dishonest in my relationships that I have established just because I am saying these things! I wish I could express my feelings freely. For example, not to hide my sadness with a smile, not to hide my anger inside... However, when I was little, I was well advised not to reveal my feelings publicly. How Does? I can give small examples: Whenever I was sad, it was said, "You don't cry at everything, wipe your tears". Whenever I get angry, “Don't be rude! Speak properly with your elders”. Whenever I said I was scared, I was told, "You're too cowardly," and ridiculed. Naturally, I've been hiding my feelings. Of course, this process was not easy for me either. I received childish wounds, I was ignored or even ignored. Well, after all, I didn't have adult problems. In short, I learned in my childhood not to share my feelings. And I did not share them publicly and kept silent. No one said why did you keep quiet anyway. If you don't cause trouble, don't cry, don't get angry, don't say you're sorry, your family will breathe a sigh of relief. Everything is fine for them. I also did not want to be a good boy and disturb the peace of my family. And now I realize that; I am a very sweet person who is chained to his mouth so that no one will disturb his peace.”
If you have experienced similar experiences in your life, if your feelings have been ignored, found harmful, condemned, in short, if you have never felt heard, understood and hid them from the outside world, you have blended with emotional deprivations. You may have an emotion suppression scheme.
Emotion suppression scheme what is the cost? It is the state of not showing emotions, from suppressing anger that is difficult to suppress to hiding happiness that is difficult to hide. Well, if you ask what is the most extreme point of this, it is to be blind, deaf to one's own feelings and living in a vacuum. (living in a detached, sheltered mode).
When one surrenders to the schema of suppression, the person is always straight and calm. (he is neither happy nor does he show his sadness). If he has a suppression schema and withdraws himself from the environment in order not to show his emotions, this is called schema avoidance. Or, if the person feels the need to talk about his feelings all the time, we call it overcompensation of the schema. When we think long-term, the suppression schema both affects our internal dynamics negatively and prevents us from establishing a satisfactory relationship with our environment.
So, how can we deal with this schema inside us? We can start by feeling, understanding and accepting our emotions first, and we can share them in an acceptable amount in an acceptable way.
If your suppression schema prevents you from even confronting yourself and you think you have mental problems as a result of it, you can get help from a schema therapist.
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