Schools are ending. As the holiday approaches, the common excitement of both the student and the family is what the report card will be like. Conversations about report cards; rewards, punishments, fears, excitement, stress, the desire to keep the report card... All of them become the agenda one by one.
First of all, it is necessary to define the school report. The document showing the success of each course given by the school administration at the end of the semester, as well as attendance, ability and general progress is called a report card. A report card is a grading of the child, family and education system. For this reason, the child, family and school are jointly responsible for a good or poor grade.
Children, families and schools are different;
Personal characteristics of the child; The type of intelligence, level of understanding, and level of adaptation are different. The difference in comprehension features is not related to the lower or higher level of intelligence, on the contrary, there is a system that every child will understand best. High course success is possible with an education system suitable for the student. The children we call unsuccessful are actually children who do not study with the right study techniques.
Families are also different. While some families have a structure that can talk to their child and try to understand their feelings, others try to achieve success by frightening them. Remember, if the child does not want to study, does not study, has no goals, is always in front of the computer, and has very poor grades on his report card, he is showing 'resistance'. This means; Children who are not emotionally understood behave completely opposite to all expectations as an unconscious reaction.
The school's system and the teacher's educational approach are very critical. Every student can understand every subject, it is very important to find the appropriate method and get to know the student.
And the Report Card…
Let's start with the worst. Parents make threats about what they can do if their children get a bad report. Scaring children about the report card, which is already clear, does not help anything and may cause children to find alternative methods or move away from their families out of fear. The child's fear of the family may cause him/her not to be able to share what he/she feels, to become withdrawn, and to acquire harmful habits that will make him/her feel good.
There are also children who are rewarded a lot. 3rd year It's been a week since the child has received the best computer, the best phone, the best shoes, and the best ones have already been received as awards. In this case, there will be a need to buy more each time. Over time, the success-reinforcing aspect of the reward disappears and the family may not know what to do.
Children who don't care. It doesn't matter what it is, good, bad, very good. The family never sees or cares about their child's report card. When you look at these unseen children while the report card is on everyone's agenda, you can see that they will develop different habits to show themselves over time.
The following is very important regarding successful report cards and children who are constantly encouraged for success. Since these children do not know what to do or how to behave when they achieve unsuccessful results, they may experience serious disappointment, introversion, desire not to study, and loss of self-confidence.
How should we approach?
If there is an unsuccessful report card; The reason for the failure must be found. School, family and student should cooperate. Mother and father should talk to the child to understand him. The manner and content of the conversation should be without getting angry, angry, or talking about punishment or reward. It is necessary to give the child the right to speak by saying, "No matter what your report card is like, we love and care about you, and since we care about your future, we think that your school success will contribute to your goals." The child will begin to feel understood when what he wants to be in the future, how he will feel when he reaches his goal, and how happy he will be are on the agenda. Communication disorders within the family and the parents' approach to the child can also create resistance to the child's studies.
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As a parent who understands and listens, you can prevent the child from choosing failure to express himself.
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Children who are constantly successful and do not fail should be given the confidence that 'it is not the end of the world' and that they can 'try again and again' in order to avoid serious disappointments in case of an unsuccessful result.
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Let your child know that he will be loved and approved by you even if he is not successful, and let success be a secondary step.
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When giving rewards It is important not to exaggerate. What the child needs is to give rewards only to reinforce his success, without raising the bar. The child should not be successful for the sake of the reward, he should be rewarded for being successful.
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Care and see your child; Unless you approve of them, they will adopt other habits to be approved. Accept them as they are, approve them so that they feel loved.
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Love your child no matter what, whether the report card is good or bad, first notice your child with you, then talk about the report card.
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A very weak report card may be issued, it may take a little more time for your child's emotional problems to improve. Psychological and physical health should be your priority.
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There are areas in which your child is successful, by appreciating his success in these areas, build confidence that he can achieve the same success in other areas.
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