Sexual drive, which is a basic physiological need, has been suppressed by various prohibitions and shames in our society, and has become a topic that is ignored and discussed only with great secrecy among close friends. Starting from the age of 3-4, children begin to understand the difference between boys and girls and become interested in sexual matters. However, the overwhelming majority of negative and incorrect answers cause this issue to become a problem. Directed to parents: “How was I born?”, “How is the baby like?” to questions such as “You came out of cabbage.” "We bought it from the market." Giving evasive answers with statements such as these causes the child to learn the answer to the same question in an unhealthy way from sources such as friends, books and the internet, and also damages the trust in parents.
At this age, children begin to examine each other through house games and They try to satisfy their curiosity. Parents who see their children trying to look at each other's genitals during games can say that they can tell them what they are curious about and the questions they have about the subject they are curious about, instead of yelling and shaming. At the same time, it can be emphasized that their bodies are private and should not be seen by others. Families also reveal their feelings on the subject with the tone of voice and comfort they use while having this conversation.
During this period, one of the situations that must be overcome in a healthy way is for the daughter to start spending more time with the mother and establish a healthy identification. The son also identifies with the father. For this, parents should try to be appropriate models and spend the necessary time with their children. When it comes to washing children from the age of 3, it will be healthier for sexual development if the mother washes the girl child and the father wash the boy child and pay attention to keeping the children's underwear on during washing. Expressions such as "I will eat your penis" cause a situation that we call castration fear in the boy and cause a fear in the child that his father will punish him. For this reason, the circumcision event was not coincided with this period. Doing this before the age of 2.5 or after the age of 5-6 ensures that children have a healthier period during this period. Girls, on the other hand, perceive themselves as being born deficient when they see their brother's or friend's genitals. In such a case, it will be sufficient for the mother or father to give answers such as "Daughter, you were born a girl and you have nothing missing, and your brother was born a boy and he has nothing more or less."
In our society, especially men At the age of 2-3, children begin to walk around without underwear and are greeted with comments such as "Come on, son, show me your dick" by the people around them. However, this is not the case for girls. Their bodies are always presented as something that is shameful and should be hidden. However, covering, secrecy and privacy of the sexual organ should be valid for both genders. At the same time, families should be careful about the names given to the sexual organs, because sometimes the names given to them (okra, etc.) can create a feeling of deficiency in children and internalize this, causing them to experience sexual problems in adult life.
One of the wrong practices in sexual education. It is also seen in masturbation. When the child plays with his/her genitals and realizes that he/she enjoys it, and in some cases sees that this activity relieves his/her anxiety and relaxes him/her, masturbation may become a habit. In such a situation, scolding or frightening the child are wrong reactions. Instead, sometimes it would be quite appropriate not to be interested, to ignore, to direct his attention to another direction, to a game. At the same time, not wearing tight clothes and wearing comfortable clothes are among the appropriate solutions to ensure that the child does not stay in bed too long after waking up. However, observing in which situations the child resorts to masturbation gives us a clue to the solution. Because when he feels unloved or has concerns about failure, he can resort to this to get rid of these negative thoughts. If the family does not exaggerate the situation, this habit will be abandoned automatically. Continuing the habit into older ages may cause difficulties in establishing relationships with the opposite sex in the future. Therefore, if deemed necessary, Getting help from an expert will help you get through the period more healthily.
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