It is very difficult for a child who has been the only child in the house for years, who can seek shelter and attention from his parents whenever he needs, to get used to the arrival of a new baby. As difficult as it is to face this traumatic change, trying to cope with it and It is even more difficult to tolerate. The issue that parents with more than one child have the most problems with is "SIBLE COMPETITION".
Although parents have prepared their children for this big change at home, it is inevitable that feelings of grudge and anger will arise. It may occur especially in the form of aggressive behavior towards the parent and the baby.
The older child is restless because he now has a fabric in which he will have to share the mother's affection and warmth, and the father's attention and support.. In such a situation; Children may often show their restlessness by displaying aggressive behavior, uncooperative behavior, overly demanding behavior, or regressive behavior (behaving like a younger child/baby). The emergence of symptoms of restlessness occurs because the older child feels insecure and anxious, meaning that most behaviors exhibited by the child may have a meaning and reason!! Therefore, scolding him, punishing him, or making statements such as "YOU ARE GROWN UP AND BECOME A BROTHER/SISTER" may not only exaggerate the crisis you are in, but also may harm the child's emotional and spiritual health even more. Having to share mother and father causes the child to question the love and affection given and feels threatened by the new baby.
WHAT DOES HE NEED?
1 -Love and trust
2-Relieving grudges and anger
You can spend 30 minutes of one-on-one time every day and give all your attention and warmth to your child. Accepting and respecting him unconditionally as an individual and using this time by doing whatever he wants for 30 minutes without interference will make him believe in your love and trust. Additionally, the need to release grudges and anger can be met by allowing crying and tantrums. It may explode due to a minor reason. If you meet such crisis moments with your unconditional love and tight hug, he/she will calm down over time.
WHAT CAN BE DONE AT HOME?
# Undirected playtime should be held with each child individually. While you let your child direct the game, make sure your child has all your attention! During these play hours, your child and the children will feel special and you will have the chance to step into their emotional world.
# You can produce games in which the child has the power. You will provide a healthy space for them to feel and see their strength through games where they can play individually or as a team. Power games played against the parents enable children to become a team, so experiencing cooperation will soon eliminate the feeling of anger and competition.
# You can do fun activities carried out in cooperation. Like building a tower from blocks or creating a common story...
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