Nail biting in children is caused by feelings of anxiety and unhappiness. So our children bite their nails when they feel anxious or unhappy. We adults think that there is no situation in which the child will feel unhappy or anxious, but there is unhappiness and anxiety in the child's inner world and this manifests itself as nail biting. Nail biting in children is caused by the child's inability to feel love. As parents, we may show love and meet all their needs, but the child may not receive or perceive this love. You are giving, but it is very important that the child feels it, that is, receives the love. The language of children and the language of us adults are different. Therefore, the child may not think that we love him and a love gap may arise within him. And this love gap can also lower the child's self-confidence.
So how do children understand that they are loved?
If we hug our children, that is, if we are in contact, the child will receive this affection. We should say sentences like "I love you", "You are very valuable", "You are very important" to our children a lot. Thus, positive schemas (positive thought patterns) will be formed in your mind. Let him understand that he is valuable, important, and that you love him. In this way, the child will move away from feelings of anxiety and unhappiness, and there will probably be positive changes in nail-biting behavior. Of course, this alone is not enough. Perhaps the child had a worrying experience in an environment with his/her peers, but did not tell the parents about it. It usually happens like this; Even if the parents know what the child is experiencing, they do not anticipate the impact of the event on the child. A child client of mine cannot stay at home alone, he cannot go to the toilet without his mother or father, in short, he cannot stay alone. After my conversations with the child, I realized that a movie he watched had caused him anxiety. It is necessary to work on that anxiety in sessions. Now, in this example, there is nothing wrong done by the parents, there is a movie that the child watched. In short, everything that happens should not be blamed on the parents.
A child who grows up in an environment that is constantly criticized, indifferent and unloving may reveal his/her anxiety by biting his/her nails. The nail biting problem must definitely be intervened. & nbsp;Nail biting is one of the most common behavioral problems in children. Sometimes children may start biting their nails by seeing someone biting their nails and imitating them. So, if there is someone who bites nails nearby, they can take that as a model.
Nail biting in the preschool period
Preschool children are in the oral period (0-2 years old) because they know the world with their mouths. They put it in their mouth, and after a while, this behavior may change to nail biting, especially if the baby is in a stressful environment.
Nail biting during the school period
Nails biting can be seen in children starting school. During this period, the child may have difficulty adapting to the rules of the school. This is the first time he encounters doing homework. During this period, if the parents expect the child to do perfect homework and get used to school immediately, nail biting behavior may begin in the child. Especially in families that place excessive emphasis on success, the child is likely to develop anxiety, and the child who feels anxious may not be able to express his/her emotions, may not be able to express his/her thoughts, and may also show nail-biting behavior. As parents, we of course want our child to be successful, this is valuable for our child's future. Because we believe that if he is successful, he will be a down-to-earth person in his own life. However, if there is too much pressure from the family, the child feels pressure, and the child who feels the pressure develops problems such as nail biting.
Should I take my child to a psychologist?
Support from a psychologist should be sought urgently regarding nail biting. The psychologist will analyze what is behind this problem in his interviews with the child and conduct sessions to guide the child and the family.
I HAVE A NAIL-BITTING PROBLEM AS AN ADULT, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
If you have a nail-biting behavior, at what times should you bite your nails? Take a look at your behavior and you will discover that you usually bite your nails when you are bored, sad or scared or anxious. Create a therapy notebook and write down the times you bite your nails, keep notes such as "I am here now, I experienced this and I bit my nails". And date it. What is behind this nail biting? He talked to a psychologist. In your interviews, you will understand why you behave this way. As soon as you understand why you are doing it, you have already started trying to quit this behavior. After the client discovers what triggers nail biting, our client gradually begins to manage his nail biting behavior. And after the traumas underlying nail biting are cleared during the session, our client will feel relieved regarding this issue, meaning this behavior will decrease. In order to be able to notice and measure this, we want him to note the time and duration of his nail biting and record it date by date. Because the human mind perceives and learns concrete things faster. Keeping records is very valuable.
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