1- At What Age Can Children Distinguish the Concept of Lie and Truth from Each Other?
With the development of language, children's lying behavior can be seen depending on their imagination, inner world and emotions. The lies that the child tells until the age of 5 are the reflections of reality in the child's world, they are the product of imagination. When children lie, they should be judged according to their age. Until the concept of truth and lie is distinguished, a definition as perceived by adults cannot be mentioned. They can usually begin to distinguish the concept of lie and truth at the age of 6-7 years.
2- How should the child be told that lying is wrong?
Accusatory and judgmental an approach does not make the child feel good, he withdraws and turns away from changing the wrong behavior. Instead of emphasizing and labeling negativities such as "You are lying", "You are a liar", the concept of "Telling the Truth" should be focused on. Explaining the importance of telling the truth, teaching the concept of honesty and discussing its benefits with the child will enable the child to develop the desired behavior.
3- How do they establish a connection between imagination and lying?
It appears as a child's changing the reality with his imagination, transforming the situation with the perception of his own world by adding and subtracting. After the child learns the concept of lying, they can make things easier for them to accept, mitigate or gain with their imagination. With imagination, the child can develop the lie to tell;
4- What might the child's lying depend on? What triggers the child?
If parental attitudes cause the child to feel pressure or fear, the tendency to lie increases. Strict, punitive, angry parenting approaches can cause him to lie because he avoids the consequences. In order to attract attention, to be accepted among family or peers, to be loved, the child may lie because he wants to show himself different from what he is. Due to their lack of self-confidence, they may resort to lies to avoid what they do not want to do. your child Any change that he has difficulty in accepting (moving, immigration, divorce, etc.) are situations that may cause him to lie. Emotions such as anxiety, fear, suppression, and difficulties in coping may trigger the child.
5- How should the family approach when they realize that the child is lying?
When you realize that children are lying; First of all, it is necessary to stay calm and try to understand the reasons behind the lie. These reasons and solutions should be discussed with the child in open communication. It should be expressed to the child that he can share everything with you without judging, shouting or punishing, and an appropriate attitude should be displayed. The child should be given the opportunity and encouraged to tell the truth by emphasizing that you are aware of the lie and the wrong behavior (not the child's personality). While describing the negative aspects of lying, instead of lying in line with the underlying reasons, how to behave differently should be discussed and guided for solutions.
6- What should be done if the child has made a habit of lying?
It is necessary to realize the needs underlying the child's habitual lying behavior. It is very important to ensure that these needs (being loved, feeling adequate, attracting attention after the birth of a sibling, etc.) are met. If the child is lying due to psychological factors such as high anxiety and lack of self-confidence, it is necessary to provide an environment of trust in order to change this behavior habit. Instilling in your child that he is safe and valuable, that you will always be there for him with unconditional acceptance, even if he makes mistakes, makes it easier for him to change this habit. If there is a lying behavior that does not change despite providing these, professional psychological support should be sought.
7- Anything you would like to add about the subject…
Children observe and imitate their parents . The child who witnesses being lied to in the family learns the lie. It is not appropriate to use the child as a means of lying, such as asking him not to say something that has been done or to give a different answer from the real thing. The child does not learn only from what is told as true or false, parents learns from their behavior. If you don't want your child to lie, it would be helpful as a parent to review your lying behavior.
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