The person closest to the child should give the news of the death. You can get support from an expert on how to explain death, but the job of explaining should not be left to the expert. If the child has lost one of the parents, it would be appropriate for the other parent to make this statement. There should be an environment where the child feels safe while giving the news. The child prepares for the situation by saying, "I will give you sad news," and an explanation is made. You should not tell the child about death suddenly. The shock he will experience may freeze the grieving process. The incident of death should be explained gradually, along with its causes. Disclosure of the loss should not be delayed.
What to Do After the Loss
After the news of the loss is given, the process regarding the funeral should be explained to the child. After the process is explained, one should ask whether he/she wants to attend the funeral ceremony and whether he/she is ready to visit the grave. If he/she does not want to, he/she should not be forced.
Attending the funeral is a symbolic farewell for the child. Having the opportunity to experience intense emotions with relatives present at the funeral also prevents the person from feeling lonely. Children who attend the funeral ceremony, see pictures of the deceased who express their anger at death, and visit their grave are less likely to experience depression in the future than others (Koç, 2003). Participation in the funeral ceremony makes it easier for the child to concretize death, which is an abstract concept, in his mind. Participating in the ceremony can provide an opportunity to talk about death with the child. It is recommended that the child attend funeral ceremonies, especially after the age of 7, in order to learn about death, which is one of the facts of life. "Kidnapping" children from their own home or cemetery during the funeral, and encouraging adults to engage in exaggerated play or entertainment at that time, may cause the child to develop a feeling of guilt regarding the death of the parent and make the grief complicated (Ürer, 2017). Regular grave visits have a positive effect on healing.
After the loss, it is of great importance for the child to quickly return to his daily routine at school, at home and in the social environment. While death is already a big change for the child, making other changes such as changing the house he lives in and taking a long break from school increases his confusion. this d Long-term separation of adults from children increases their anxiety. Providing information about how the loss will affect the child's daily life and who will provide his/her needs and care will enable the child to organize his/her life after the loss, accept the loss and experience the mourning process in a healthier way (Bildik 2013).
Children should be given the opportunity to talk about death and ask questions. Constant questioning should be answered patiently, without criticism. The events should be told without any changes each time. If he does not want to talk, he should not be forced. Making death a mystery at home, not talking about it at all, and acting as if such a loss did not occur makes death more curious for the child. It is wrong to pretend that children are strong and do not suffer at all so that they are not affected by death. Not talking about death at all prevents emotional healing and causes a feeling of insecurity in the child
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