Anger is an emotion that is considered bad among the public. But is it really like that?
Anger is a human emotion just like other emotions, but when it is not controlled, it can harm the person himself, his environment and his relationships.
The way of expression of each emotion develops as the person develops. When an individual gets angry during the development process, he/she shouts, hits, throws objects, etc. When one witnesses these behaviors, the way one experiences anger is affected in this direction. So it is not anger itself that is bad; The reactions given at the end of the emotion of anger are positive or negative. It is the negative reactions that cause anger to be considered bad.
So, is it possible to change this?
Parents/caregivers have important duties in this regard. What needs to be done from childhood is not to teach not to get angry, but to teach how to turn negative behaviors as a result of anger into positive ones. Because it is not possible to remove emotions from our lives. The important thing is to control negative reactions when angry. First of all, parents should start by modeling their own anger management and expression styles.
I can hear you saying, "Well, we saw it that way, too." You are right. But humans are creatures that can develop. It is in your hands to control your behavior if you want and try. Because everyone is responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It is difficult to change the other person, but when you start the change from yourself, it is possible for the effect of your environment to change along with you. In order to become more conscious individuals, you can make positive touches on your own life by recognizing your needs and taking steps accordingly. Our brain has extraordinary power. It helps you however you want to use it.
Does anger have a positive side?
When we look at it from one side, anger also has positive aspects. What positive side will anger have, dear? You may say, let me tell you right away. Anger increases our attention and focus. If our goal is to save or protect ourselves, or a loved one, or someone in need of help from a difficult situation, anger provides strength and belief. When anger is used in this way, it produces constructive results. This comes from realizing the power of brain power, not body power. ar.
In order to manage your anger;
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Know your anger and its processes.
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Identify the events that trigger your anger
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Which thoughts increase your anger
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Realize which physical symptoms they cause
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Realize your anger along with its processes and accept it
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Improve your coping strategies with alternatives.
Controlling anger does not mean keeping silent or pushing it in. Of course, you will share your anger, but through proper communication. Things to consider when expressing anger:
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I won't say the first thing I think
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I will think about what I need
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I will think about the real reason for my anger.
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What is the meaning I attach to events?
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After I calm down. I will share with you why I am angry with the "I language".
You must first recognize and define your feelings yourself so that you can express them to the other party with the right words. If you, as adults, can manage your anger correctly, children will also acquire correct behavior when they take you as a model.
When we examine even the emotion of anger that seems to be instantaneous, we go through many processes and steps. Therefore, of course, if you are someone who has had difficulties in controlling and expressing anger, you cannot be expected to control it instantly. However, in order for a behavior to become a habit, it needs your effort, that is, experience. Just as when learning to write, writing may be crooked, missing letters, etc., it is quite normal to have difficulties at the beginning of the process of coping with your anger. The important thing is to persistently continue your efforts to cope with your anger without succumbing to any situation.
I wish you moments when you can overcome your anger...
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