When we were children, our elders said, "If you don't sleep, you won't grow, if you don't eat, you will stay small" to convince us to go to bed when we were sleepy or to make us accept the absurdity that it was necessary to finish what was on our plate even if we were full.
Growing up for children is stronger. Because being tall means being as tall as a role model, with these threats and incentives, children ate when they were full and slept when they were not sleepy.
They ate, slept, ate, slept before they could develop internal control...
As the child ate, the mother became peaceful, and when he went to bed on time, the father became happy.
With the automatism of "Come on, eat, eat more, I know you are not full, eat it all", he ate as much as his mother wanted, slept at the time his father wanted, and Thus, the child who brings peace to his parents 'really grows up physically'. ‘’
Well, to physical growth; Can we talk about full growth if the development of social adaptation skills such as emotional maturation, the ability to control one's impulses and the ability to postpone one's desires are not added?
While we are obsessed with the amount of food the child eats and bedtime, in an effort to ensure physical development, we must show the same sensitivity and effort in social life. and emotional development?
Mothers and fathers who think that healthy development is limited to height and weight development, supported by nutrition and sleep, and who are unaware of the growth requirements other than physical development; As their children grow up, they begin to learn the answers to these questions through painful experiences.
Our same parents, who have aged only a few years during the primary school period and the following adolescence, are like a caterpillar changing its shell; He begins to express complaints such as "Eating so much, you will become obese, my son cannot get enough of himself, he gets sleepy just before he sits down for class, this child is not aware of his responsibilities at all."
Becoming aware of his inconsistent demands for his children, which change over time. Instead, they begin to look for responsibility for unacquired skills and uncontrollable impulses in their children.
New expectations such as being able to study regularly, striving to be successful, getting along well with peers, postponing their desires and fulfilling their responsibilities first, are perceived by the child as good enough. Failure to meet it brings disappointment. Relationships within the family begin to be shaken when the disappointment experienced is expressed with hurtful angry discourses such as "As he grew up, he became spoiled, he changed a lot in adolescence.., he became disobedient, he became rebellious...".
At home, Only lessons, only computer bans, only wrong choices with friends, only mistakes, mistakes and deficiencies begin to be talked about, the family focuses entirely on what the children cannot do, the child has to face what he/she cannot do, over and over again.
Family and teachers ' In the illusion that 'he could actually do it if he wanted', they push the child harder and harder, not realizing that the child has such a hard time and cannot succeed because of the skills he has not learned to do in time. (not being able to study regularly, not being able to direct anger, not being able to postpone requests, not being able to automate most responsibilities, etc.), Families who fall into the false belief that the child especially "desires failure" label their children with lack of effort, carelessness, irresponsibility and laziness. In the face of these accusations, the child begins to doubt his own abilities and loses his self-confidence. Parent and child become further away from each other in the same house. In this chaos, according to the family, there is nothing left for the child to do right, and he does not do many things he can do. In the midst of worn-out relationships, shaken family dynamics, feelings of some guilt and some helplessness, spouses eventually begin to ask the following question to each other and to themselves: "Where did we make a mistake while raising this child? Did we spoil him too much?" Crying him to sleep, feeding him until he bursts, fulfilling his every desire immediately, in short, prioritizing physical development, is not enough to successfully experience peace, happiness, and harmony in the different functional areas of life that the child will encounter as he grows up; The biggest mistakes are made by not knowing that children need to be provided with a play environment so that they can acquire certain skills from a young age.
When parents request help from us professionals in academic, behavioral and social areas regarding their children, some of the children There are medical conditions that need to be treated, regardless of family attitudes, and the situation will not improve with the home measures taken by the family. In addition, the problems in similar areas experienced by a significant number of our children are related to the failure to provide them with the appropriate environment for their developmental period.
Sometimes it can be seen as an activity without a purpose. Children who are deprived of play food due to the lack of play activities, which we think do not mean anything more than passing time, and whose unnecessaryness we can emphasize by saying 'Studying your lessons as much as you are fond of games';
- Children who are deprived of play food He grows up by missing the opportunity to become aware of himself.
- He grows up without being able to develop the ability to regulate his internal needs..
- He grows up by being taken away from the opportunity to discover and develop his skills and abilities..
A child who cannot sleep regularly and cannot eat well enough causes all family members, especially the mother, to become uneasy and seek professional help as soon as possible. Therefore, it cannot be neglected for a long time. Families do not show similar sensitivity regarding play, which is at least as essential for development as sleep and nutrition and is the golden criterion in the social-emotional field. In this sense, play appears as the child's primary need that must be satisfied but is most neglected.
The developmental contribution of play to their social and emotional development constitutes the source of effort, determination, and pleasure in being able to fulfill many of the different expectations we expect from them in the later years of their lives.
Social skill development
Children. Children learn how to behave or what is unacceptable behavior much more effectively by "having playing experiences" with their peers, compared to their elders constantly reminding them of the rules.
Being fair to their friends, being able to wait their turn, and tolerating defeat. The acquisition of social skills such as being able to share what belongs to oneself and feeling pleasure from it is acquired in the most natural form in the play environment and prevents the child from being caught unprepared for adult life. Therefore the game; child's It provides a unique environment for the development of social achievements, which determine the quality of human relationships throughout life and are very difficult to internalize in later ages. In addition, social skills acquired at an early age, such as social competence, emotional maturity and the ability to withstand frustration, are protective factors against the development of psychopathology throughout the child's life.
The magic door opening to the child's inner world:
The child is active His feelings, curiosities, needs and fears in the imaginary world he created during the game process in which he was involved; In short, it expresses the inner world that the child cannot understand or express like adults.
Game is the most effective way for the child to express his inner world.
Children reflect the important events they experience to the outside world in their games, speeches and behaviors. The game becomes a relaxation area for the child to get rid of the effects of troublesome cognitive processes such as stress, inner conflicts, fears and anxieties. They try to overcome their fears and pain by reliving their own difficult emotional experiences during the game, through games and toys.
Therefore, The play environment provides the child with the opportunity to express himself safely and repair any traumas.
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