Everything was fine, but suddenly he started to be reluctant to go to school... Even when he was a baby, he used to sleep in his own room, now he cannot sleep apart from his mother... He has been constantly restless and restless for the last 6 months... While he was a calm child, he suddenly started having fits of anger... He was an extroverted child, We often encounter sentences such as... He suddenly became withdrawn...
So what happens to our children?
We usually don't know the answer, and at such a moment that adults can't make sense of it. Children enter a brand new phase. Nothing that has been experienced is left behind, unfinished business always follows us. And especially with pre-adolescence, many things become more meaningful.
Sometimes, adults attribute this new process, which we cannot understand, to different reasons and do not try to understand the storms flashing inside their children, and as a result of a lot of neglect and postponement, the child leaves behind alone. He is left alone with the memory he thought he had.
Sometimes, adults do not want to talk to their children about traumatic events in order to suppress their own anxiety; They act as if the event never happened or is not important. This situation causes children to produce their own scenarios and assumptions about events. However, the situation that the child imagines in his/her mind is very disturbing to the child because it carries uncertainties and is based on guesses.
Let's not leave our children alone with their traumas...
Sometimes it is a big problem. Natural disaster, sometimes a scolding from a teacher at school.
Trauma can be defined as a situation that challenges or exceeds a person's endurance at an unexpected moment in the daily flow of life. In the occurrence of trauma, it is very important that the child perceives the event as a threat to his own life or the life of someone else. The more direct threat the event poses, the greater its impact.
It is not necessary for a major event to occur for trauma to occur. What is important is how the child perceives the events and how they damage his/her self-perception.
Common Post-Traumatic Behavior and Adaptation Problems in Children
Post-traumatic symptoms observed in young children Sudden changes are big It is more difficult to understand and detect than children of the � group. For example, preschool children may interact differently because they do not have a specific memory that they can remember after the trauma or because they cannot understand what and which memory harmed them. For example; Sudden bed-wetting behaviors, increased frequency of night nightmares, unexpected introversion at school or incompatible behavior with peers, sudden declines in academics.
The behaviors seen in older age groups are more sudden and frequent outbursts of anger, academic declines. and developing phobic concerns.
What Does the Child Experience During Which Period?
Trauma Symptoms Before School:
Withdrawal, denial-ignoring, traumatic themes in games, fear of strangers as a result of anxious attachment, clinging to parents and attachment to loved objects, fears, showing behavior below the age due to regression situations.
During Primary School Period. Trauma Symptoms:
Decline in performance, denial behaviors and acting contrary to reality, affective inconsistency, behavioral changes, psychosomatic problems.
Trauma Symptoms in Adolescence:
strong>Behavior problems such as loneliness, drug and alcohol consumption, tendency to crime, running away from home, suicidal thoughts, self-confidence problems, acting older than one's age or experiencing rapid puberty, excessive preoccupation with oneself and anger management problems.
Let's Help Our Children After Traumatic Experiences
Talk to your children, try to understand what they feel!
Talking to the child after a traumatic experience positively affects the process of shaping this event in his mind and attributing certain meanings to it. While doing these, it is important to provide age-appropriate information to your child.
By understanding our children's feelings and thoughts, a conversation such as "Yes, you are upset, I understand" will make the child more comfortable and you will help him normalize his thoughts.
Do not force your children to talk if they cannot or do not want to talk. !
One of the situations that parents feel most nervous about is how to get their children to talk. If you are not sure that you can manage this process very well by talking, you can give your children the opportunity to play games and draw. In this way, you enable them to express what they experience in their inner world. This situation, which is difficult to express even for you, is also very difficult for children to portray. Therefore, appreciate as much as he can and tell your child often that you love your child very much.
Should we make excessive physical contact?
One of the important issues is whether to have physical contact with your child or not. is the subject. Families want to touch, hug or kiss their children excessively to support them in this process. Let's not forget that we need to act much more sensitively in such situations. There are some situations where physically touching your children can further traumatize them and even cause them to make false connections about the events they experience. Such events are generally valid for children who have been abused, and sometimes they should also be taken into consideration for children who are physically overstimulated.
Try to return your children to their normal lives!
Emphasize to them that, like every event and situation, these days are temporary and that you are working to get things back on track as soon as possible. Incorporate your children into daily life as soon as possible, without disrupting the routine of whatever they did before, and give your children certain responsibilities.
Read: 0
