The most important element that brings people closer to each other is communication. When communication is mentioned, the first thing that comes to mind is the entire perception, understanding and evaluation processes between individuals. The most important way to understand the person we are dealing with is to be a good listener. It is very important to truly listen to the person in front of us and build a bridge between hearts. Understanding and being understood is one of the most basic spiritual needs of humans. This is only possible with healthy communication. Healthy communication is an important concept that makes its presence felt in every aspect of life. Especially within the family, this situation feels more severe. Healthy communication established within the family will enable family members to develop their sense of belonging, self-esteem, belief that they are loved, and communication skills, allowing individuals to be healthier spiritually and physically. This will bring happy individuals, happy individuals and happy families. Let's give an example: The youngest member of the family, who is 6 years old, wants to share a beautiful event he experienced during the day with the other members of the house, but he cannot find anyone who neither listens nor cares. Think of a child who encounters this situation not just once, but repeatedly. There is no one who neither listens nor pays attention to him. What do you think this child might think? Maybe he or she may feel unloved, uncared for, unaccepted, and unbelonging.
Let's evaluate this incident as follows; The youngest member of the family, 6 years old; She happily shares a happy event she experienced during the day with her mother, her mother makes eye contact with her, shares her joy, rejoices with her child, touches her, even hugs her, congratulates her and gives her a small kiss on the cheek. What do you think this child might feel and think? He will think and feel that he belongs, that he feels valued, that he feels loved, that he feels safe and accepted. Communication is such an important channel. It is vital that this channel is strong and clear.
So how can communication channels within the family be strengthened?
1. Starting Communication Appropriately: because when the word is said is as important as the word itself. is. For example, saying it after the event, when emotions lose their intensity, rather than during the event,
2- Listening to understand, not to respond or judge. If we do this, it will be much easier to understand the other person and we will be able to understand their wishes better.
3- Expressing our feelings and thoughts in an appropriate language, expressing them with wisdom, as the old saying goes, and using the "I" language. For example: "I am aware that you are angry and that is why you are talking loudly, but it makes me very sad that you speak like this"...
4- While listening to the other person, we should be patient, not interrupt him or intervene before the conversation is finished. We should be flexible and avoid judgmental expressions while listening to his explanation.
5-Do not try to give advice right away, and even if you are going to give advice, do not do it in front of other people.
6- When the other person tells you about a problem, he may make you angry. Accordingly, you may be hurtful and bring up some events and mistakes from the past to that person. This may cause communication to end at that time. It is necessary to manage this situation well and determine whether our behavior is appropriate for the moment.
7- The aim during the discussion should be to solve the problem. Otherwise, if we try to prevail over each other rather than solve the problem, we may cause the problem to flare up and create new problems rather than solving the problem.
8- Do not say words that will upset the other person, even as a joke. This situation may cause the other person to get hurt and have a negative attitude towards us.
9- We should not expect every discussion to end at that moment. Sometimes extending the solution to the problem over time can help eliminate the problem.
10- Express your purpose clearly to the person in front of you and support it with your soft tone of voice. In short, approach fire with water, not gasoline.
In summary, if we compare the family to a table with 4 legs, one of these legs will definitely be communication within the family. If each leg is important for the table to remain solid and standing, the family can also stay healthy and take more confident steps. In order to move towards the future, it is very important to have healthy communication and to pay attention to certain rules in order for this to happen.
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