Starting School
Who starts school?
Nowadays, starting school means opening a new page for both children and their parents. Primary school is often full of unknowns for the child.
Is it similar to kindergarten?
- Are games played in primary school too
- My favorite Will my friend be in my class?
- What kind of person is my new teacher? Will he love me as much as my kindergarten teacher?
- I wonder if the lessons are difficult?
- I will be a big man when I go to school. So what is the big man?
- Will I be able to play games when I go home? Or will I always study?
- If I don't do well in my studies, will my parents still love me?
- What will my brother do while I'm at school? Will he always be with my mother?
- My mother takes me away? Does he forget at school?
As it seems, school is full of uncertainties for children. Uncertainty is always a precursor to anxiety. For this reason, it is important for parents to talk to their children about what they will do at school, and to meet the teacher and see the school beforehand. But what is important here is how parents see school.
What does school mean to parents?
- Will my child be successful at school? (I wonder what is the criterion of success)
- Success in classes (only grades are the criterion)How much does the neighbour's child, siblings, and what the kindergarten teacher says affect the parents?
- Getting along with friends
- Obeying the classroom order
Will my child be happy at school?
We can add many more questions here. But the most important thing is the happiness that will emerge when these are together. To be happy, the child has to do these together. This situation brings a new burden to him. Because in this period, social relationships are different from those experienced before. He is no longer in demand as much as he used to be because he runs the fastest or jumps a lot. He should also be good at school so that his friends will not exclude him, his teacher will like him more, and his parents will be happy. In other words, the concept of being happy is no longer as easy as it used to be. This era of gaming is not over yet and I never want it to end. It is very difficult for a child who cannot. They have now started to rehearse the life that parents live. As you can imagine, this may become even more unbearable for children between the ages of 60 and 66 months. In fact, what is expected from a first-grade child is that he/she should be well-adjusted at school, learn to read and write, and have a few friends with whom he/she can be close. The child who can achieve these will have achieved social relations and education for the 1st grade.
Going back to the parents, they can sometimes reflect the burdens of their own childhood on their children with the opening of school.
- It was very difficult for me to study, but I'm sending him to a private school so that he doesn't have a hard time like me
- I couldn't study, so I had a hard time in life. He should not be like me, he should finish all his schools one by one
- MY child should be successful like me.
Sometimes the responsibility of the child is entirely on the mother (the father's workload is high, working out of town, father's personality traits, family structure, etc.). In other words, in case of child failure, the first person to be held accountable is the mother. In this case, the mother may approach her child with more anxiety.
In other words, when the burdens in our own lives are placed on the child, we burden the child with our anxiety, expectations, and things we cannot do. This child is a very heavy burden to carry at any age, and sometimes he can carry this burden throughout his life.
As can be seen, school often opens a new page not only in the child's life but also in the parents' lives. In order for this page to be filled well, parents must first see what their children can do, act without forgetting that they are still a child, remember that learning is an endless staircase and that the steps must be climbed one by one, and that the child can be happy as long as the parents are happy.
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