Since marriage is a choice, ending the marriage is also a choice. Spouses may request a divorce when they have difficulty communicating with each other, when sharing decreases, when they decide to be with someone else, or for other reasons. Although divorce causes psychological problems even in adults who decide to do so, this situation can become even more complicated for children.
We know that many people do not want to end their marriage because they think of their children. For me; Living in a family environment where there is constant fighting and noise can further negatively affect children's development and mental state. Of course, I do not want to say that divorce should occur in every conflict and negative situation, but if there is no way out, divorce is inevitable. However, this incident should not be dramatized and turned into an inextricable situation.
After the spouses decide to divorce, they should share this situation with their children. Even if it is difficult, one should try to appear calm in front of the children and not lose control. If spouses appear confident and speak consistently, children will accept the situation more easily, even if they are upset.
It is important to remember this; Spouses can divorce each other, but they cannot divorce their children.
Having divorced parents or being a member of a divorced family is not harmful in itself. What matters is the quality of relationships between family members and family life. Children's reactions to separation and divorce largely depend on the spouses' reactions to each other. It is necessary to ensure that the child gets through this event with the least harm.
If a divorce decision has been made, the best way is not to hide this situation from the children. If one spouse leaves home without any explanation, the child may feel rejected and unwanted and may see himself/herself as responsible for everything. When talking to them, explain that they are not responsible for the problems between you and your spouse and your decision to break up. Try not to look unhappy or lose control in front of the children. Try to give clear and concise answers to questions and not blame each other. It should also be stated that he can see the parent who leaves the house whenever he wants.
Children can develop mentally healthy and stay with people. Being able to establish compassionate and loving relationships depends on them being close to the most important people in their lives, their parents. Spouses experience feelings of anger, resentment, contempt and guilt together during the divorce period, but it is necessary to keep children away from these.
Divorces have become so common that even children with a happy family life feel like their best friends' parents. They are worried that their parents will also divorce.
If you want to help your child, try to share your child's feelings and thoughts and listen to and understand him. Additionally, when the divorce process begins, you should keep them away from the court environment and not force them to take sides. Spouses should be able to come together in decisions regarding their children. You should not use your child to punish your ex-spouse.
Let your children know with your actions and verbally that you love them very much.
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