Bolat, who has included many studies on the reward and punishment system in his book and speeches, has observed that, according to the findings of these studies, the reward attracts more attention and wastes time in children, but as soon as the reward is removed, the individual does not do that behavior again, because the child does not accept the behavior that is tried to be taught in the first place. He did it for reward, not to serve his purpose. After a while, the child develops the mechanism that if there is no reward, there is no earned behavior. Studies have shown that rewards reduce existing motivation and prevent people from developing positive attitudes. If a person performs a job, a task or a behavior with his own will, his internal motivation helps him and these people can be said to be a person with a healthy development and learning process and improved internal motivation, but if the person performs this task, job or behavior with a stimulus through an external control mechanism, this situation It improves external motivation and leads the person to undesirable behaviors. Similarly, if control mechanisms such as reward system in individuals: evaluation, supervision, surveillance, deadline/delivery date, goal setting, competition and competition work, the child will do the job, but since this situation controls the person doing it, it reduces the child's internal motivation, that is, his enthusiasm to do that job. . Likewise, it is possible to say that an individual with internal motivation is an individual who has value judgments, has a higher level of success, is highly motivated, can help on a voluntary basis, is away from artificial love, and has developed creativity.
According to research, the most It has been observed that the teachers who give rewards and the teachers who punish the most are the same. Although the words reward and punishment are perceived as different concepts in our minds, they actually have the same meaning. Both of them control the individual by providing conditions. To give an example of this situation, the sentence "If you do your homework, you can play with the computer" is a reward, while the sentence "If you do not do your homework, you cannot play with the computer" is perceived as punishment by the child. There is a condition for both, and the child comes to the point where he does his homework, which is normally his responsibility, by seeing the computer game as a tool as a punishment or reward. is. In a study, reward increases the dopamine level in the person, while when the reward is not given, the dopamine level drops below normal and the feeling of pain is echoed in the person. As a result of the research, it was found that feeling pain as a result of not receiving a reward is actually a punishment.
As a result of Bolat's research, it was seen that unethical behaviors are more common when individuals act with the aim of gaining the reward. If there is a reward, the person tries to reach the reward in the shortest way rather than what is right or ethical. This situation can lead to feelings of competition in children with their friends at school, which can then foster feelings of hostility. If we evaluate the concepts of child and school through ethical principles, it becomes possible to say that the concept of reward and report card grading systems also direct the child to the cheating system. In fact, children pursue good grades not for their self-worth or responsibility, but for the grade they will receive, for their family, for their teachers, or as a result of external motivations because they are afraid of punishment. Families who want this to happen should first accept that they need to change their own thinking, not their child's or their own behavior. We need to see children as responsible individuals rather than seeing them as young, inexperienced human beings. The more the child is accepted in this world, at home or at school, the more he will realize himself as a self-confident, consistent, successful and self-respecting individual. The best way to give value to the child is for the family to first do the behavior expected from the child, that is, to model the behavior they want the child to see. With the PİDE (Perspective, Need, Emotion and Empathy) approach developed by Bolat, it is emphasized that instead of changing the child's behavior with direct conditions, it is possible to establish a one-on-one relationship with the children and get to the source of the problem and produce solutions. How to establish correct communication can be summarized by saying: Accept that your child may be the reason for his behavior, understand the reason, understand his feelings, put yourself in his place and find a solution. Work towards the development of the child Having knowledge and achievements takes us in a more positive direction in terms of behavior and learning. Just as adults love the work they can do, the child's feeling of being able to do it will meet the need to take on a joyful responsibility. In other words, if we want to increase the child's level of success and the level of responsibility he/she takes, first of all, tasks should be given that are suitable for his development and have attainable difficulties. Sometimes children get bored of being under the command of their parents. The reason for his behavior may not be understood. In such cases, there should be a certain order at home or school, this order should be accompanied by consistent behaviors, rules and routines, and problem solving should be sought after the problems are revealed.
Finally, as adults, we need to change our behavior in our own lives every day. While encountering each other, there may be attitudes and behaviors that we want our children to change and develop. What is important is how these behaviors become gains. Rather than placing a condition on the child's acquisition of these behaviors, a correct, consistent relationship can be created with a relationship of respect, love and trust. If we do not punish the children, who are our future, with rewards, they will have a safe adulthood.
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