"You know what I want? Good luck to the person I'm going to marry. Let me work too, but for pleasure, not out of necessity”, “I work until I have a child after marriage anyway”, “One day my life will change/save” These are the words of the cindrellas around us…
So what is this? Cinderella Complex? As we remember from the fairy tale, while poor Cinderella lives a very bad life, the handsome prince who emerges pulls Cinderella out of this difficult life and they live happily. In real life, women expect their lives to be saved by a savior, just like in this fairy tale. It will be easier to understand the emergence of this situation if we take a glance at the past. The perception that women are always naive, fragile, in need of protection and care, and as a result, families' overprotective and oppressive approach to their children instead of giving them responsibility and teaching them to take risks lay the foundations for being Cinderella. However, as a result of inequalities in gender roles—women's job/male job distinctions—and marriage—having a child as a bonus—is seen as a social achievement, our cindrellas become an extension of their prince. Of course, we hardly notice it in our daily life, since all these things work perfectly in our unconscious, not at the conscious level. But I can list a few features for those of you who think, "I wonder if I am like that". I can say that I am not confident enough in taking responsibility and risk, fear of failure, fear of being free – I am talking about the responsibility of one's whole life - and therefore the feeling of peace and security created by being under the wings of a man. If you caught yourself reading these features, remember that; This syndrome that pacifies women is nothing more than the verbal rules imposed on us from past to present, and it is certainly possible to change it.
Finally, do not let these words be perceived as not getting married, having a man in your life or not having children. What I'm trying to say is that you see them as a purpose of your life. you should not be under the illusion that achieving these means success, and a man's main duty should be a life partner who supports you while you are already doing these, instead of being a savior prince who finances you.
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