Expectations from Marriage and Spouse

Every person has different expectations from marriage. While for some people, marriage means living in security, for someone else, marriage may mean gaining a better position in society. In addition to expectations such as a more comfortable life financially and a positive social status, emotional expectations also take their place in marriage. Emotional expectations such as being loved by the spouse, being respected, being attractive and attractive, being respected, hearing words of love, receiving attention, compassion, and approval are naturally among the expectations of spouses from each other. While a woman does not want her partner to even look askance at another woman, the same feeling applies to the man. Feelings of ownership and possession are also among the expectations in marriage. Some women feel sad about this, saying that their husbands are not jealous of them. For these women, being jealous is synonymous with being loved. For some women, their spouse's jealousy is a primitive behavior. No one can own anyone else. The same feelings apply to men. In addition to the men who are happy to be jealous of their wives, the number of men who are quite disturbed by this situation is not small.


In addition to the spouses who want to hear that they are loved verbally, those who want to see that they are loved through behavior, and those who want to feel that they are loved through touches. Each spouse has different expectations from his/her spouse, depending on their own personality structure. The first months of marriage are spent with the spouses getting to know each other. According to the results of the research, it takes the first five years for spouses to fully know each other. Considering the fact that humans have a dynamic structure and experience changes over time, spouses learn new characteristics of each other every year.


One of the main factors in expectations from marriage is having children. This is the expectation of both the married couple and their family and friends. Newlywed couples are constantly asked by their parents and friends when they will have children. These questions inevitably create pressure on spouses. In order to fulfill the expectations of their families, there are many couples who have children while they are not yet ready to become parents. Spouses without adapting to each other and the marriage process Having children creates problems. Because children bring with them a great responsibility. Spouses who are not emotionally ready to have children have difficulty bearing this responsibility. While the strain may cause depressive symptoms, it may also upset the balance of a marriage that is not yet established. That's why spouses should first get to know each other, learn about compatibility with each other and the marriage, and then decide to have children. It would not be right to give a certain period of time on this matter. It would not be healthy to give a prescription such as not having children for two years or having children after such and such a period of time. However, spouses can understand whether their marriage is in balance. If they can approach their marriage objectively, they can make accurate evaluations.

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