There are many ways to preserve bread. How can we best preserve leftover food?
What might we need to do to ensure the safety of the house before going to bed? How is house cleaning best
and how often should it be done? I want you to pay attention to these questions. Is there a single, universally known answer to any of these questions? Everyone can learn the answers to these questions from their own family or
social circle, and you must have learned most of them in the past.
So, which of us has the correct answer? How sure can we be? Or when was the last time you doubted whether the answers to these questions were correct?
Well, now that I've mentioned it, you may have gotten suspicious
.
Well, now let's change our perspective a little bit, let's ask not our own answers, but our spouse's or
lover's answers to the above questions. Maybe a few of them may be the same as your answers
But if the answers were different, you eliminated them directly, right? Because the most accurate ones are what you bring from your own
past life. Now, the most important point in this situation is the fact that the other party thinks the same way as you.
Because of course, when two people from different backgrounds start living in the same house, they will try to impose on each other. It is a process that takes many years and is very difficult for two different societies to impose on each other.
Different cultural structures may clash and even war may occur. While the situation of imposition is so difficult for societies, it is even more difficult for individuals. Because you can find supporters for yourself in different societies. If you influence ten percent of a million people, your job may become easier, but there is no such advantage for the individual. All or nothing. It's either him or you.
Trying to change each other is a very tiring process. This concept, which does not appear in the first years of marriage, may begin to emerge spontaneously in the future. If you have made such an effort
it means there is something wrong. You ask why? We can explain why very simply
. Let's take a look at the dynamics within the relationship If so, what are these? Loving, being loved,
friendship, confidant, security, sex, love, romance, passion, etc. There are emotional dynamics. There is no need to replace each other
. But why does this occur? After the first year of marriage, the "I-YOU-WE" balance of your relationship may have been disrupted or the sweet month may have ended. Dear
There is no such thing as the end of the month. Relationships that end this are their own owners. Remember, your beloved jackets are inside your husband and wife's jackets, there is plenty of space for them.
There is no need to take them out. . Unfortunately, the perception that sweet months are temporary is entrenched in our society, but it is a wrong generalization. Never end your sweet month, never stop nurturing the "WE" in your relationship. You can always use romance.
There is no need to end it.
The main reason why the concept of power struggle in marriages has become the main dynamic of the relationship
is the abandonment of the period of being in love. Because if you give up on this, there is no action left to do
So naturally, you start to examine each other and analyze the other party's mistakes according to your own
However, the information you both bring from your past is true and you are interested in this relationship
If you start with your ways and try to change each other, you will not be the people you fell in love with in the beginning
and this may become a situation that may cause the love and passion in your relationship to end.
As we said at the beginning, if you do not want to become tired of the power struggle, the other parts of the relationship also need to be balanced, and of course the "I-YOU-WE" balance must be protected
and their nutrition must be done on time.
The information you read in this informative article is theoretical. Trying to analyze your relationship based on this information will lead you to wrong conclusions. Each person has a different perspective, their way of perceiving life, and their way of interpreting events. We need to treat relationships just like humans. Each relationship
has its own dynamics, culture, way of perceiving life and interpreting events
. These dynamics of the relationship Their structure consists of situations such as people's character, their way of perceiving life,
culture, etc. Every relationship is a different structure and there are few similarities. In couple
therapy, you get the chance to look at your relationship from the outside, the dynamics of your relationship are analyzed, and you get the chance to analyze your personal emotions. When you become aware of these analyses, you will be able to better analyze the events surrounding your relationship and become aware of your own positive or negative emotions.
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