Dear Mothers and Fathers,
The sense of responsibility is a skill that can be learned and developed from the first years of life. Children can easily acquire this skill when they are given the opportunity and grow up with responsible role models. Although responsibility is a skill in parents' minds that is generally limited to collecting the child's toys, keeping his room tidy, and taking care of his belongings; In fact, responsibility covers much more than what is mentioned. It is a responsibility of a child who has acquired the skill of holding a spoon to eat on his own. Again, it is a responsibility for a child who has developed brushing skills to brush his teeth before going to bed in the evening. The fact that a child who is full does not want to eat is a decision, choice and responsibility that the child makes regarding his own life. It is a responsibility that a child takes when he tries to put on his clothes and puts on his socks. This list can be extended with different examples. As can be seen, many things that the child strives for, tries to learn, and tries are actually the building blocks of responsibility skills and therefore self-confidence skills.
So, why do we, as adults, want our children to be responsible? What makes the skill of responsibility so valuable? Sense of responsibility; It is about improving one's own skills and being aware of the consequences of one's actions rather than performing some tasks. Children who are allowed to use their developing skills, who are congratulated (rewarded) for successful attempts, and not scolded for unsuccessful attempts, on the contrary, are encouraged, are willing to take responsibility. Children who can take responsibility progress towards becoming individuals with higher self-confidence and lower anxiety levels.
So, how should we, as adults, support the child's innate instinct to take responsibility?
First of all, the first thing we will do is And the simplest thing is to give your child the opportunity to do anything and everything he can do on his own. For example, does he want to drink water from a glass and are you afraid that he will drop the glass and break it? Give water with a plastic cup. Let him drink it down and try it Let him learn by experiencing. Or does an older child want to mop the house? Let him do it, don't expect him to do it like you. Just let him see in your eyes the light of how much you believe and trust him, making him feel sufficient. Or does he prefer one of two types of meals, eating rice instead of vegetables? Let the responsibility of choosing develop. “So you like this better and prefer this, well that's your decision. Say "Well done" so that he can eat only rice that day but feel the power of choice. If you want to eat vegetables, sometimes omit the rice option. Do not force food into your mouth when you are full. This behavior means 'you cannot decide whether you are satisfied or not, I know better for you. It gives the message to the child, "I know when you are full, not you." Let him learn to bear the consequences of the responsibility he has taken, even if he goes hungry. Does a 5-year-old want to dress himself? Yes, he may not be very fast yet, but he needs to try enough to learn how to dress quickly. If the parents cannot be patient and say "Let me dress them" this time, then the development of this skill will be delayed. In addition, if it is a question of being late for a place, it is important for the child to experience the consequences of being late after being given enough time to prepare for the development of the sense of responsibility.
These examples can be multiplied. Lastly, while instilling a sense of responsibility in the child, be sure to examine your child's developmental characteristics. Expecting something from a 3-year-old child that a 5-year-old can do is like removing an eye while trying to do eyebrows. In such a case, our child will not be able to fulfill the task he has undertaken because he is not developmentally ready, and as a result, he will feel unsuccessful, insufficient and afraid to try. With the hope of raising individuals who are responsible first towards themselves, then towards their family and close circle, and finally towards society…
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