ENSEST
“Shhh!...”
Silent screams and cries that emerged with the brutality behind closed doors... The most cruel, treacherous emotional, physical and sexual abuse is the greatest trauma combined. It is the worst form of rape. Because the rapist is their closest. Sometimes mother, father, sometimes grandfather, uncle. Sometimes, the new member of the family, stepmother, father... The person they trust the most has made them experience the greatest betrayal in the place where they feel safest. The child could not understand that he was watched by his rapist in the bathroom, while he was changing in his room, that he was the target of perverted conversations, that he was a spectator to sexual scenes, or that innocuous touches. Maybe she thought she was loved by the attention given to her. She doesn't know the difference between a loving touch and a pleasurable touch. They're called children. However, when every act of sexuality inhibits his innocence, what can it be called other than incest?
The injured child experienced the bottom of the pain when dirty familiar hands wrapped around his small body and satisfied his sexual desires. Every time those filthy hands touched him, the pain and disappearances dragged him into pessimism (pessimism chart), maybe his experiences made him feel dirty (Imperfection Chart). Maybe that's when the obsession with cleanliness and meticulousness started. As if purifying his body and soul from all filth... ( The need for justice of children who were raped by their closest relatives has been destroyed. While the skepticism scheme is active with the thought of what other people would do if their closest relatives did this to them, do not purify their body from all filth. his desire has emerged with the effect of the weakness scheme)
He wants to tell what he has been through, to vomit his insides, to get rid of this burden, even if a little, but the injured child was cut off by his rapist, 'Don't tell anyone! If you tell...' he was left to his fate with the threat. Maybe because he couldn't tell anyone what he was going through, he only expressed his disgust with vomiting, which is a real bodily reaction. (the abused and threatened child scheme of the Emotion Suppression and Flawlessness Scheme) experiences somatic symptoms as a result of MA delivery). It is not only the body that is stolen, but also the innocence of the child. Nothing will ever be the same again for him. He is different from other children, he is flawed. (The stolen child's soul and body made him feel more incomplete than other children. This led to the development of the imperfection schema.) Perhaps life taught them that no one really should love them selflessly. (Failure to meet the need for pure and clean love has led to the formation of the emotional deprivation schema). His little body experiences a helpless fear. Under the weight of all the burdens placed on his shoulders, his soul has aged to a crushing bruise. They became men and women before they even had a chance to mourn their childhood. ( their painful experience causes them to experience intense depression at the time of trauma. The hurt/injured child mod : surrender to the active schemes)
On the one hand, the black mark on their foreheads is learned by everyone from the threats of their rapist. The child, who is afraid that people will blame him and that his family will break up, experiences intense feelings of guilt (Punishment scheme). No matter how bad the family life is, these children's dependence on the family is high (Dependency scheme).Even if the child forced into incest relationship sees the bottom of his depression, he cannot tell anyone for such reasons. No one understands what they are going through. The child can neither seek help nor prevent rape. She helplessly surrenders to her rapist's wishes.( Submission Scheme/Submission)Sometimes the rape doesn't go unnoticed. The people of the house see, they keep silent because they do not want the family order to be disturbed. Right there, the trauma of the child increases exponentially. Because there is not even an imaginary savior left. One rapes and the other condones, in fact, both are rapists of the child. (While the child surrenders to the Dappropriate Deprivation Scheme as a result of not meeting the need for emotional support and protection, knowing that there will be no savior increases the effect of the Abandonment Scheme and Pessimism > .)
Some incest victims' minds are filled with the painful traumatic experience they have experienced, unable to accept what they have experienced. With the growth of the emotional vacuum in him, the extreme point of the detached, sheltered mode has passed into dissociation, that is, multiple personality, and the integrity of identity has been shattered. Some people's minds have buried everything that happened too deep and have lost their memory. (Detached Protective Mode)
While the anger of the child who is the victim of incest towards the rapist turns into a desire to punish him, most of the time his punitive side turns to himself. He can't stand the pain he's going through and wants to end his life. ( Punitive Parent Mode )
Starring Mert Fırat, Nergis Öztürk and Zeynep Oral; directed by İlksen Basarir; I would like to present a section from the 2010 movie Carousel that bravely reveals the fact of incest, which is the bleeding wound of our country. The story of the film, which is about a father forcing his two children to have incest at different times, starts in the town and extends to Istanbul. >“The girl looked at him with pleading eyes every time, but the man's hands did not stop. The girl wanted to get rid of it, but it wasn't working. She couldn't understand what she had done to deserve this. It was her father's face she saw. But it couldn't be his father who did this to him. Don't do it, I beg you, I'm crying because my mother will kill me if she comes, but she didn't listen. He said we will love each other more, I was afraid. I said it hurts but he didn't hear. I hate it now. I don't want to sleep at night. I don't want to eat. I wish I didn't know. I can't cope. I can't look at my mother's face. It seems like everyone knows this. But it's not my fault. I swear I didn't do anything. I want to go, I want to go from here. What should I do, I wish someone would say something”
“The girl was looking at him with pleading eyes every time, but the man's hands would not stop. The girl wanted to get rid of it, but it wasn't working.” (Necking Chart) ; “She couldn't understand what she had done to deserve this. What he saw was his father's face. But it couldn't be her father who did this to her. “The fact that Sevgi has been subjected to such pain by her father makes her need for justice. He is shocked and makes him question why he deserves it. (Punishment Scheme) ; Not wanting to sleep at night, not wanting to eat are symptoms of depression that occur with the effect of the hurt child mode , which has surrendered the pain of trauma. “I can't stand...” the belief that he can't stand what he's going through; (Persistence chart); “I can't look at my mother's face.”(the Flawlessness and Punitive schemes as a result of her shame and guilt); “it feels like everybody knows”. (Skepticism Chart); “I wish someone would say something”(not having anyone to get emotional support from indicates that she feels the emotional deprivation schema intensely)
In short, incest; it is the looting of a child's joy, hope, innocence, confidence, that is, all his treasures, and leaving a hollow, fearful and desperation-laden spirit in its place.
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