Fundamentals of the Feeling of Trust and Distrust
Trust is the first main, primary emotion that a healthy family gives to its children. From the moment it first opens its eyes, a baby tries to find trust in its mother's voice and smell. Children who grow up aware that they are loved and valued when their needs are met from the moment the baby cries, emerge as individuals who have reached a sufficient level of self-confidence in the future. The child takes his place in society as a confident adult who can establish healthy relationships with the value he sees in the family, the responsibilities given to him, moral values and the environment of trust. The temperament that an individual brings with his birth has the main characters that distinguish him from other people.
For example, these are:
Children growing up in dependent, perfectionist, overly oppressive, normative, directive, overprotective, restrictive families. It is observed that he has trust problems. This attitude, which starts with not trusting oneself, can progress to not being able to trust almost anyone in the future.
Basic need: Trust
Trust, like love, is one of the most basic needs of a human being. Although trust is one of the most important parts of close relationships, it is obvious that no relationship without trust can be sustainable.
Most relationships are built on trust, and as a result, arguments, disagreements and unhappiness begin to occur where there is no trust. People do not want or try to let people in their lives whom they do not trust physically and emotionally. The feeling of trust enables a person to connect and believe in other people without worry, doubt and hesitation, because where there is trust, there is openness, closeness, honesty, support and most importantly commitment. The actions that create this trust are the commitment made by the person with his attitude, behavior and personality.
How to build trust in a relationship
Trust is one of the most necessary components in our relationship and communication with our partner, as in our normal relationships. Because if there is no trust, the relationship will have no meaning. Your partner may say that he loves you, wants to be with you, and will give up everything for you, but do you trust him? If you don't, these words will have no meaning. You cannot feel loved unless you trust that the love expressed to you is expressed without any special conditions. This is why infidelity can be so upsetting and devastating. The issue is not that the partner has sexual intercourse with someone else, but that trust has been broken as a result of sexual intercourse. Without trust, the relationship cannot progress. It is necessary to either repair this trust or say goodbye. Once trust has been broken, you can keep track of the process of regaining it—that is, when you keep a consistent record of them correcting their behavior—only then can you begin to believe that the cheater's values are properly aligned and your partner has truly changed. It may take time to keep a track record to regain trust. Things may not go well during this period of reassurance. Both partners should be aware that their struggle to survive the relationship will be difficult. I chose infidelity in romantic relationships as an example, but this applies to every relationship. Once trust is broken, it can only be restored if these two steps occur: 1. The breaker of trust acknowledges the true values that caused it and admits that he did something wrong. 2. The breaker of trust provides a solid record showing that his behavior has changed over time. An attempt at reconciliation should not be made without the first stage.
Finally, if we compare trust to a porcelain, once it is broken, you can glue it with a little care and attention, but if you break it again, it will crumble even more and it will take much more time to put the pieces together. and when you keep breaking it over and over again, it becomes crumbled and cannot be repaired.
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