One of the main problems that worries parents and seeks help is; habit of lying. This is actually a kind of sign that something is not right in the house. Sometimes it is caused by the primary caregivers with whom the child spends time, while sometimes it may be a psychiatric cause.
The habit of lying is common in children who are emotionally neglected. Every child needs to be valued, to be cared for, to understand their feelings, to gain the skills to learn and obey the rules, and to be socialized. If these are constantly ignored, we can talk about emotional neglect. One of the exemplary behaviors of negligence is to be offended by the child because he did something wrong. 'I do not love you anymore. Let your father bring another mother and see." Treating an individual like this since his infancy leaves traces on his identity. Children exposed to neglect may encounter many psychological problems such as self-confidence and/or confidence in others, difficulty in making decisions and self-discipline, feeling of worthlessness, attention problems, depression, anxiety problems, and susceptibility to somatization in their later years.
If there are walls that seem hard and insurmountable in the relationship established with the child in the family, these walls push the child to lie. They start with small lies and unfortunately gradually become more proficient. In this way, they prevent family conflict and the rejection of their personal wishes. Many children do not like it when they lie, and they also state that they have no other choice. “Even if I told them what to do, they would not understand. I lied because I didn't want them to be upset with me. I didn't want our relationship to deteriorate." Starting from early childhood, when behaviors rather than words are taken as an example, especially parents should avoid lying. If someone around the child is lying, and if the lie seems to be beneficial for him, if the child gets away with it, the probability of lying increases. Therefore, the family needs this behavior. The first place they look for when looking for someone is actually themselves. They should first put into practice what they want to see in their children.
If parents do not neglect their children and act carefully, if the child lies, it may be due to attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder. It is seen that impulsive children speak without thinking and tell frivolous lies without calculating the consequences. For example, a child may talk about his aunt, whom he does not love, as if he were dead. For example, when he says, "My aunt died last summer," he is not at all aware of the consequences of the lie he told at that moment. It is necessary to inform the family members by getting help from a specialist, then to get age-appropriate support and to help the child.
The attitude of the family is of primary importance in overcoming the lying problem. If the first reaction of the parents when a lie is noticed is to shout and shout at the child and say, "Shut up, don't answer!" Know that this is wrong.
Fearing them and preventing them from expressing themselves can make the situation more deadlock. If it is correct; The reason for the child's need to lie is that the parents enrich their relationship with their child after it is well understood.
How do I cope? It is cruel to expect your child to be perfect and not make any mistakes. Let them make mistakes. While setting the rules, leave gaps for them to make moves. Know that strict restrictions encourage more lies. Instead of always punishing and giving long speeches, make it a principle to give appropriate answers to the situation. They need to be understood about why they lie, listen closely. Show them that you want to trust them. Emphasize that they deserve your attention and attention. Keep both your ears and eyes completely on them when speaking. Beyond these, do planned activities to discover their interests. While spending time together, try to get to know them and establish deeper bonds. Support them to gain self-confidence by carefully observing their skills and talking about what they can do, not whether they can . Ensure that they take responsibility in accordance with their age and development. Let them socialize. Approach the child without forgetting that he is a child, and try to raise him psychologically healthy so that the habit of lying leaves its place to honesty and transparency.
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