Doing the solutionist thing sometimes means not acting as we feel like. In order to change your behavior, you need to be aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and doing in the present moment. If we are aware of these, we will begin to make sense of our behaviors that we do not like and want to change, and to understand why we do these behaviors. Once we understand why we do what we do, we will be more likely to change our behavior. It is not always easy to choose effective behavior and be solution-oriented when dealing with a negative event we experience. The way to achieve this is to not make judgments. Most of the time, we are not even aware that we are making judgments; in fact, our mind constantly produces judgments, we can say that it is a kind of judgment-making machine. Positive or negative judgment can disappoint us. Making judgments about the situation and our behavior can prevent us from doing what is effective. For example, let's imagine a student thinks that an assignment is too difficult. This student will probably not do the homework, saying it is too difficult. And in the exam, he may not be able to answer questions related to the assignment and therefore may fail the course. This student's negative judgment about his homework unfortunately prevents him from performing effective behavior. If he had been aware of the judgments of his feelings and thoughts at that moment, he would have tried to do the homework as best he could instead of making judgments about the assignment.
Doing the solutionist thing means trying to do what is necessary to solve a problem. Being a solutionist never means giving up or hiding. In short, doing the solutionist thing means TAKING ACTION. Sometimes we need to be persistent to achieve our goal, even if we don't think it's right. We may need to be persistent in order to get what we want.
Let's give a few examples of doing the solution:
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You are shopping in the supermarket and then when you get to the payment point, you see that it seems like it will never end. There is a queue. You want to leave what you bought and return home, but since there is not much food left at home, you prefer to stand in line
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You are in traffic. You are in the left lane, but the vehicle in front of you is driving at low speed even though it is in the left lane. You are driving at speed and you get so angry that you want to crash into the rear, but if you do so you will damage both cars. Injury to the other driver is another matter. As a result, you wait to be patient and for the vehicle in front of you to move into another lane.
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You get into a fight with your lover. You're both screaming and yelling. You are so hurt that you feel like leaving the house. Instead of knocking on the door and leaving, you take a deep breath, take a short break, and begin to express yourself with sentences constructed in the "I" language.
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Despite your workload, your boss gives you another job, you get angry, you think to your boss. You feel like shouting and resigning, you think you will be unemployed if you do this, when you calm down you decide to talk to the boss about your workload, you do what is best for yourself.
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You offer your friend to go to the shopping mall together and Your friend rejects your request and says he has other things to do, but you were there for him whenever he needed it and you get angry. You feel like telling him/her that he/she is selfish, but you think that if you do this, your friend will be upset and even your friendship may end, so you stop calling him selfish and ask yourself what could be a solution-oriented behavior for the current situation and tell your friend how you feel.
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