Nowadays, we witness more often that relationships start very quickly and end just as quickly. We consume it quickly like fast food and leave the table. But then we get hungry again. We feel the need for love, attention, trust, belonging to someone, that is, a relationship. Then comes a new relationship... Sometimes we encounter many problems in existing long-standing relationships and even marriages. Problems in relationships can have many causes, and of course, each relationship, each couple and the difficulties they experience are unique to them. However, there are some basic issues that will lead to a healthier progress in the relationship that will begin or existing.
Perhaps the most important of these basic issues is that we choose our partner for who he is. We need to give up the dream that we can change it, control it, control it, own it. This dream of ours is unrealistic and results in disappointment. The partners we choose also have their own lifestyles and mindsets. We must know our own limits and respect our partner's boundaries.
In the relationship, we need to stop doubting, worrying, and talking to others and learn to talk to our partner. Because the indispensable part of a relationship is mutual trust. Trusting someone or something does not happen automatically. We must always keep communication channels open and be transparent. When we begin to speak in a verbally aggressive or accusatory manner, the other person becomes defensive. This is not a healthy form of communication. We need to acquire the right communication skills for a solid relationship.
Knowing ourselves is the golden rule not only for our romantic relationships but for every relationship we establish. What makes us happy, what makes us sad, what situations reveal our anger, what we can and cannot tolerate, which situations are suitable for you and which are not, knowing ourselves means being aware of the problems and beliefs within us and knowing what you expect from relationships.
Who we are and what we want. When we have a solid idea about what we expect from our partner and the relationship, the issue comes to the fore. Trying to find out our wishes and expectations by writing them down, creating a more realistic and permanent list. It leads to our. Of course, there will be minor changes in this list as time progresses. But we can look at our list once in a while and check whether we have strayed from the basics.
We like surprises, attention and acceptance, feeling of love, understanding, compassion when we need it, sincerity and respect. We can be touchy at times, even joyless, uninterested, unpleasant and thoughtless at times. In fact, being angry, upset and unhappy is a very human thing. Rest assured, this is the case with our partner. In other words, he is human too and his emotional state may not always be the same. Just as there are many things we would like, he also has things he likes.
Let's be solution-oriented rather than problem-oriented. Every relationship can get stuck and get stuck at the beginning or later on. This situation is quite normal. If we are in a difficult period in the relationship and we choose to spend our time getting lost in the distress, getting angry, angry, resentful and making revenge plans, we put ourselves, our partner and therefore our relationship at risk. The healthy choice should be on how to repair the existing problematic situation. Let's not forget... When couples act right, they come out of crises stronger.
And let's love ourselves. Let's love ourselves so we can learn how to love someone else. We cannot feel an emotion we do not know. Self-love is an abstract and difficult to understand topic. "Do you love yourself?" I usually get the answer "of course" from my clients. Then the second question comes: "What did you do last time just for yourself?" A long silence. We can start to love ourselves by showing ourselves that we are worth spending money, time and energy on. We can create situations where we can say "well done" to ourselves at least five times a day. In particular, we can learn to look at ourselves positively by making a list of only our positive and beautiful aspects about ourselves and looking at this list frequently.
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