Borderline personality disorder is a personality disorder pattern that we frequently encounter in therapies. The main feature of this personality disorder is rapid ups and downs in emotional states, quick anger and quick joy, and a very rapid emotional transition between these two.
THE EMOTIONS ARE VERY INTENSE IN BILATERAL RELATIONSHIPS
The person with this personality disorder Individuals experience some problems, especially in bilateral relations, male-female relationships and close friendships. When they establish a very close relationship and the other party starts to get closer, they end the relationship due to the intense risk of abandonment. The closeness in the relationship is unbearable for these people and they experience fear of being swallowed. Distance in a relationship is unbearable, they have fear of losing, they always want to love from a certain distance, neither close enough to strangle them, nor far enough to abandon them. There is a gap between the distances between getting closer and farther away.
They have a hard time establishing a deep and long-term relationship with the opposite sex. While they sometimes exalt and idealize the person they love, sometimes they despise and devalue them. Their feelings about others are incredibly variable, and so are their feelings about themselves. While they sometimes feel very valuable, very beautiful, very intelligent, at other times they feel worthless, ugly and stupid.
The basic defense mechanism used in borderline personality disorder is splitting. strong> Under the influence of division, his feelings towards himself and others constantly change. There are often intense feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness. When they get angry and feel bad, they often use the defense mechanism of projective identification, which is relief by transferring this feeling to someone else. For example, they can only relax after making the other person feel bad by telling them how bad, cruel, and dirty they are. When the other one feels really bad and remains silent, he tells him that he is worried about everything and wants to do something together or suggests going to the movies. It is as if he did not make the speech that was made half an hour ago.
YO IN THE MOMENTS OF SEPARATION THEY EXPERIENCE PANIC DAYTIME
When they realize that they have reached the end of the road in their relationship with their loved ones, spouses or partners, they experience intense panic and fear. Ending a relationship is incredibly difficult for a person with borderline personality disorder. They think that everything is empty and that they cannot live without the other. They suffer as if they had lost an organ. They usually want to find a new partner immediately after the relationship. Their ability to experience grief is quite limited. They want someone else to fill the other's void. Grieving is a response of our inner world to a loss or change. No matter what is lost, be it a lover, a job, a friend, our inner world experiences a feeling of grief for a while in order to gather itself and live with what has been lost. Adapting to the real world becomes difficult in this process and the colors of life diminish. When the mourning period is over, we continue where we left off with the part of us we lost. Since people with this personality cannot complete the full mourning process, every loss creates intense and frightening emotions for them. They have a tendency to replace the lost object with a new one in order to escape from pain.
THEY HAVE DIFFICULTY DEFINING THEMSELVES
A person with borderline personality disorder While the person says he is calm about himself, he also thinks he is angry. Or he may say that he is very cheerful, but at the same time he thinks that he is very unhappy. Identity disintegration is a situation we often see in individuals with this personality disorder. Because they do not have a consistent identity structure, they constantly describe themselves as fake.
IN HIS CHILDHOOD, AN INCONSISTENT, OCCUPYING, NEGLIGENT MOTHER AND NEGLIGENT THERE IS A FATHER
People with borderline personality disorder have an inconsistent mother in their childhood. The events in which the mother loves the child and is angry with the child constantly change. The mother, who loves and kisses the child for drawing today, gets angry at the child for painting tomorrow and making a mess with crayons. Is it a good or bad thing for children to draw? He cannot understand whether it is something or not. This is present throughout the child's life. The child, who does not know why his mother will be angry or unhappy, will have difficulty understanding the emotions of others in adulthood. The reason for poor empathy ability is the mother's unstable behavior. The father's role at home is usually vague and distant. He cannot understand what the child is going through or does not want to get involved in the relationship between the mother and the child. Therefore, these people tend to look for a mother who will love them perfectly and unconditionally throughout their lives. They are very giving in relationships and what they want in return is unconditional love and not being abandoned.
IT CAN BE TREATED WITH DYNAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY
People withBorderline personality disorder can be treated with dynamic psychotherapy technique. It is not possible to treat it with medication. In therapy, he reflects his feelings to the therapist. Therapy progresses as a result of the existence and interpretation of this transference. The average duration of therapy varies between two and five years.
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