MAKING THE CHILD HAVE TOILET HABITS
The autonomy period known as toilet training covers the second and third ages. First of all, the child has started to walk and talk. These two important skills gained take him out of the powerless, passive and dependent state of his childhood. One of the first words a child learns is the word 'no'. He became an independent, uncontrollable, angry, and demanding child. He is connected to his mother with an invisible rope, but he is in the intoxication of knowing that he is a separate person, a separate being, and using his new abilities. After a while, he asks for a toy back by crying when he gives it to him of his own accord. The back and forth between opposing emotions occurs most clearly in toilet training.
The mother wants the child to report when he/she is defecating and urinating, to stay dry, not to soil his diaper, to sit on the seat, to defecate not when he wants, but when the mother deems it appropriate. . As the child is forced into a routine by intimidation or coaxing, he resists this situation, which contradicts his autonomous attitude. In cases where the mother is impatient and wants to get results in a short time by using pressure, the child's resistance turns into open rebellion. For example; A child who is forced to sit on a bench for hours holds himself back and defecates after being lifted and tied. This is an attitude that comes from not wanting to give up the sovereignty over defecation to the mother. He takes pleasure in the accumulation of his feces and then his ejaculation. Defecation begins to become the focus of the child's attention during this period. Not only that, the child regards his feces as a part of himself and a valuable object, and gradually gets used to looking at it like an adult. He enjoys mixing it with his fingers and smearing it left and right. You should not get angry about getting dirty, touching or even having an accident. It is right to explain it with words calmly and to reward it with affectionate words when it behaves appropriately.
In the autonomy period, if the child is raised without any restrictions and without any inhibitions on his own wishes and tendencies, he will be a child who knows no obstacles, whose selfishness and aggression gradually increase, and who will achieve his wishes at all costs. He becomes a striking, hurtful creature with fits of anger. Uses defecation and urination as a means of aggression. He gets dirty and wasteful, like he pees in his bed , also urinates around. He defecates here and there. There is a rebellion in these behaviors that goes beyond protecting autonomy.
The mother does not always succumb and can put extreme pressure on the child by beating, intimidating and shaming. In this case, the child is forced to suppress his natural tendencies and adopt the behaviors desired by the mother. Extreme docility and submission may develop instead of aggression, or stubbornness may develop instead of open aggression. The tendency to dirty and mess is replaced by extreme cleanliness, meticulousness and tidiness. It tries to provide the cleanliness and dryness that the mother expects by defecating very regularly or by holding it for days. If these features are very evident, the child may develop an overly meticulous, orderly, meticulous and delusional personality in the future.
Toilet training should not turn into a war between the child and his mother. For this purpose, the child should not be expected to remain clean and dry in a short time. Attempting to educate a child when he is only three months old, as some mothers do, would be difficult for the child and tiring for the mother. The mother inevitably becomes impatient and tries to force the child, which makes him uneasy. The most appropriate age for toilet training is between the 12th and 15th centuries. It was found to be months. The sphincter muscles responsible for defecation can physiologically develop when the child begins to walk. It is also a fact that education started between the ages of 1-1.5 is completed in the shortest time. However, it is necessary to give the child until the age of two to report his stool regularly. Toilet training before one year of age VIII. There would be no big harm in starting it once a month. As long as you don't put pressure on the child and don't expect him to stay dry within a month or two. The important thing is to regulate defecation with a determined attitude that will not cause the child's reaction or resistance. Generally, children begin to report peeing around the age of 2. However, until the age of 3-4, it is normal for them to wet their bed at night.
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