“Let's not argue in front of the child.” I have heard this saying from many parents. Even I used to think that way too. Many parents may think that arguing in front of the child will disrupt the child's psychology and that the child will be negatively affected by what he hears, and may feel guilty when such a situation occurs. It can also be thought that the child may go and tell his friends at school, his teacher, or other family members we do not want to hear about the discussion. I want to give some comfort to parents who think like this. Because I have learned that discussing things in front of the child will not harm the child's psychology, and I feel really comfortable about it. Don't be afraid either. You can argue in front of the child. I can even say that it is necessary and useful to argue in front of the child. But of course, it is very important how we manage the discussion, what kind of style we use with each other while arguing, what our body language is like, and how much we can maintain the integrity of respect and love between us and the person we are discussing. A discussion that takes all these into consideration will actually contribute to our child's problem-solving skills. Because he actually learns from us how to express his emotions and deal with the problems he encounters. For this reason, the discussion we experience is actually an opportunity for our children to observe how to discuss in the right way and level and how problems can be solved. It is up to us to take advantage of this opportunity and make it useful or truly harmful. Arguments that take place after the children go to sleep, or arguments that occur while the child is present, and continue after the child sleeps, or arguments that take place by sending the child to the child's room, or arguments where the parents go to their own room, turn on the television or give the child something else to occupy themselves with, and say "don't get out of here" Unfortunately, the child does not have any opportunity to observe. Not only can he not find it, but he also creates question marks in his mind. I wonder what happened, why are they arguing? Like what can I do? Parents who argue and eat each other before the child goes to sleep may act as if nothing happened when they wake up in the morning. In such a situation, the child observed how the argument broke out. � , but he will not have observed how it turned out. Even though he tries to complete this unclear part on his own, it remains unfinished. If he is in another room during the discussion, he may hear you half-heartedly, so different interpretations or misunderstandings may occur in his mind. In order to prevent all these, it would be useful for parents to express together the reason for the argument between them, how they felt during the argument, and how they agreed and resolved it at the end. Let's not forget that problem-solving skills are not innate, they are acquired by learning, and one of the places where children can learn these skills is the family environment. And children imitate our behavior rather than what we say.
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