The situation called obsessive love is also known as relationship addiction. This concept; It can be defined as a person turning a real or unattainable love into an obsession, devoting himself only to this relationship and shaping his life, decisions, and other relationship patterns in this context, and these obsessive feelings disrupt the functionality by harming the person himself and the people around him.
Obsessive. a person who somehow falls in love; He believes that he will find happiness only in the person he loves. It can be said that the only sense of satisfaction in life is nourished by this relationship. They have a very strong belief that every moment they are not with that person is empty, and that there is nothing they can experience other than unhappiness without them.
In fact, these people; They fall in love with the person they idealize in their minds rather than the individual in front of them. In other words, the meaning they attach to those people increases their emotional intensity and makes the individual experience the feeling of love.
When this obsession we mentioned goes above a certain limit, it can cause dangerous consequences such as harassment, stalking, violence and murder. Therefore, this issue is a very sensitive situation that needs to be addressed.
It is thought that one of the biggest reasons for the formation of obsessive love is being rejected by the person you are in love with. The rejected individual constantly strives to be accepted by the rejecting person and does his best to maintain physical closeness. Another reason is that our attachment style with parents in childhood may come into play. Our relationship with our parents can greatly affect the relationships we have today and the attitudes we take in these relationships.
This pattern can negatively affect not only the person we are in love with, but also the person in love, and seriously disrupt functionality. By shaping his life around the person he is in love with, a person can perform at a low level in many tasks he has to do in daily life. This situation can harm other relationships, self-esteem, academic success or work life.
What Do People With Obsessive Love Do? What should you do?
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You can identify and list the behaviors that drag yourself and the person you love into difficult situations. Then, by looking at the list you have made, you can go through the steps of change step by step, starting from the behavior that you can change most easily.
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By focusing on your emotions, you can observe whether positive or negative emotions are dominant. Doing this can bring different thoughts to your field of awareness and help you make changes in your behavior.
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Making sure that you do not evaluate events and situations only from your own perspective will help you. Thinking more realistically can make it easier for you to calm down the challenging thoughts in your mind.
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It is very difficult to think realistically while experiencing intense emotions. However, for the situations you have experienced, “What would I say to a friend if he experienced this situation?” When you focus on the thought, you can think more realistically. Thinking rationally will affect your perspective on the event and will help reduce your obsessive thoughts.
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By taking time for yourself, you will be able to fill the void in your life with your own needs instead of the love you are obsessed with. You can focus on activities such as acquiring a new hobby, spending time with your circle of friends, implementing a plan you have been postponing for a long time, or exploring new places.
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Finally; Constantly stalking your crush on social media can trigger obsessive feelings. Even if that person is not around, it can cause you to keep that person alive in your mind. If you have this type of behavior, reducing this situation will make your job easier.
If the situation and the intensity of your emotions occupies your mind intensely, disrupts your functionality, you have difficulty controlling your behavior and you think you cannot cope, consult a specialist. You should get support.
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