The Turkish Language Association defines the word anger as the aggression and rage shown by a person in situations such as being frustrated or hurt. Anger is also defined as a response to frustration and unmet expectations. People's physical structure and interpersonal communication are two very important factors in handling anger in a healthy way.
Anger is used by people to suppress the anxiety experienced in negative situations. If the expression of anger is prevented, anger occurs. The emotions that accompany anger are anger, resentment, sadness, shame and guilt. Anger is a healthy and natural emotion when expressed correctly, but if it gets out of control, it becomes destructive in school life, work life, personal relationships and general life, and anger is seen at the center of personal and social problems.
All these definitions and expressions describe anger as negative. Although they define it as an emotion, most theorists argue that anger is not a problem itself, but the way it is expressed, and the way it is expressed is negative.
Many living things can survive if they are warned against threats to themselves. If a living thing can protect itself and survive, it can continue its species, and for this it must display aggressive behavior. In other words, while anger warns the person that there is a problem, on the other hand, it reveals self-destructive and aggressive behavior.
Although anger seems unhealthy and harmful, it is actually a healthy emotion that everyone experiences. People are afraid of anger and hesitate to show anger due to the consequences of anger. Letting go of anger causes harm to individuals. For this reason, it is important for people to recognize the feeling of anger, control it and direct it to the appropriate person at the appropriate time.
The energy that emerges as a result of anger activates people's thoughts of strength and superiority in order to overcome the obstacles encountered. Positive anger energizes people and motivates them to change.
Why Do We Get Angry?
Studies have found 10 factors that reveal anger. These are;
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People who claim to know everything best and do not care about other opinions
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Lying, slandering and mistreating
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Humiliation and humiliation
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Stupid and thoughtless behavior
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Making fun of
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People's plans being disrupted by other people
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Others' grumbling, shouting and creating conflict
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Situations of physical attack and harassment
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Inhibition due to environmental and unknown situations
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Theft of people's belongings, Situations such as falling apart or changing its location have been found to be reasons for anger.
How Do People Express Their Anger?
People express their anger in 3 different ways: putting anger in, directing anger out, and controlling anger.
Throwing anger in is a way to control one's anger. is a state of suppression. Although this may seem like controlling momentary anger, the most damaging expression of anger to the person is introjecting it. The person who keeps the anger in does not talk about the situation that caused the anger and therefore cannot find a solution to the problem. If the situation that causes anger is not talked about, the person begins to live with resentment and resentment, and as his anger increases over time, the feeling of resentment continues to increase with it. This way of expressing anger disrupts interpersonal relationships.
The expression of anger is when a person projects his anger onto other things and this situation turns into hostility and resentment. People prefer aggressive behavior to express anger in daily life. When a person wants to express his anger, he uses methods such as humiliating, hurting, mocking and being rude to the other person.
Controlling anger does not mean suppressing anger or remaining unresponsive, as is thought. ir. Rather, it means using one's communication skills or problem-solving skills. Recognizing anger is an important factor in dealing with it. Anger can hinder communication, so a calm and patient attitude is a constructive behavior that can reduce tension and anger. The way for a person to control his anger is to postpone the problem.
If a person can postpone the issue he is angry about until he calms down, he can make healthy decisions about that issue, so it is best for the person to give himself time. At the same time, if a person can think about why and what he is angry about when he gets angry, he can see which principle he values has been violated and consider whether this issue is worth getting angry about. People who can apply the "Stop-Think-React" principle will be less likely to make mistakes because they will not act without thinking.
Anger causes a lot of damage to a person's family and social life and prevents healthy communication. The family and friends of the angry person should distance themselves from the person in moments of anger and give time for both parties to calm down and think.
There are many known methods of anger control and the effects of these methods vary from person to person. It varies. A person should choose a method that suits his or her personality and lifestyle. It is an important factor that the chosen method does not bring extra trouble to the person's life. Anger management method is achieved by first knowing the person and understanding the anger. For this reason, people who have anger problems should discuss this issue with a psychologist.
Various methods are used for anger control in therapy, especially identification of provocation is an important factor. Knowing and understanding the situations that provoke them allows people to stay away from them, and for this, the situations that provoke them and their reasons must be investigated in depth.
Another method used in therapy is the Biofeedback method. In this method, the individual understands the reaction of his body at the moment of anger and adapts it to thought, behavioral changes and physical stimulation. It can be used as a cue for things like reducing strain. Another method used in therapy is replacing previous negative behaviors with positive ones during anger and learning the ABC method of anger, which are among the elements that provide anger control. The ABC method of anger is a method that helps to review the reasons, behaviors and consequences that cause a person to become angry.
Finding different explanations for the events that provoke people and changing their perspectives leads to more accurate reactions to events.
When anger turns into aggression in people, when it affects their interpersonal relationships, and when they realize that they are using unhealthy anger expression methods, they should consult a psychologist.
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