A tiny virus that emerged at one end of the world suddenly changed the lives of all of us, people all over the world. Scientists in other countries and in our country have persistently recommended that we stay at home to stay healthy and prevent the spread of the virus. Therefore, in order to be alive and healthy, all people, young and old, young and old, who do not have to work, started to stay and live in our homes.
In this process, our homes and families have become even more meaningful. This period of time was an opportunity born out of necessity for family members who wanted to but could not spend time together, and a process of learning to live together again for families who had difficulty spending time together.
Regardless of the circumstances, in the same house against a common challenge. We have to live. To overcome this difficulty, every individual needs the support of the family institution as well. We can compare the family institution to states. Each state has its own culture and rules. If these rules are healthy and created to include all family members, if there is an obligation to comply with the rules, and if these rules are arranged to meet the needs of family members, it will create the idea in every member of the family that my family is strong and that I will overcome this difficulty in solidarity with my family. This idea creates trust, especially in situations where uncertainty is active.
Since it is not yet clear how long we will have to stay in our homes, we can try to strengthen the homes we live in against difficulties and turn them into safe havens, what do you think?
The event we experienced; It is an unexpected, unusual and difficult to deal with event that occurs in the normal flow of life. This unusual situation also; It is an event that carries the risk of losing our health, physical integrity and loved ones. We call such events/situations crisis or trauma in psychology.
In general, it is possible to discuss crisis and traumatic events in three groups:
1. Developmental (natural) Crises: Refers to crisis situations that include life events such as adolescence, graduating from school, changing jobs, getting married, having children and retiring.
2. Situational Crises: Crisis situations such as separation, divorce, loss of spouse, unemployment, bankruptcy, traffic accident, emergence of a serious illness, disability, infectious diseases.
3. Complex Crises, Traumas: These are crises that include situations such as domestic violence, rape/harassment, exposure to torture, natural disasters, terrorism and war.
Especially developmental crises are often resolved with the support they receive from individuals, their relatives, family and friends. They can get over it in a short time and adapt to changing life events.
In traumatic events that threaten human life and physical integrity, individuals may show different reactions during or after the trauma. During the trauma process, intense emotions such as anxiety, fear, insecurity, anger, guilt, sadness, grief and confusion may be experienced. Some individuals' reactions may disappear spontaneously in a short time. However, there are also individuals who can cope with the problems caused by crisis and trauma by receiving medical help and psychological support. This situation varies from individual to individual and it is possible to list many reasons to explain this situation.
We can classify the stress reactions that occur during the trauma process as physical, behavioral, emotional and cognitive.
Physical Reactions;
Rapid breathing, palpitations, sweating, shaking, Dizziness, headache, digestive difficulties, fatigue, weakness, excitement, tension, loss of appetite and changes in desire to sleep, increase in existing physical health problems may be examples of frequently occurring physical reactions.
Behavioral Reactions;
Crying, wandering, carelessness in self-care, resentment, state of alertness, communication difficulties in family and work environments, inability to express feelings and thoughts, introversion, increase in alcohol, cigarette and drug use, emergence of tics or We can give examples of behavioral reactions such as increase in weight, restlessness, eating problems, escape and avoidance reactions.
Emotional Reactions;
Sadness, resentment, helplessness, numbness, irritability, anger, fear. We can give examples of reactions such as anxiety, anxiety, decreased tolerance, etc.
Cognitive Reactions;
Difficulty in paying attention and paying attention Disorganization, the constant presence of thoughts about trauma or crisis in the mind and the inability to cope with these thoughts, creating irrational and repeated negative scenarios, forgetfulness, inability to solve problems, and indecision can be counted among the cognitive reactions.
A person experiences one or another in his life. He/she may have faced more than one crisis and trauma. We know that each individual can react differently to traumatic events. While some individuals can easily cope on their own, the process may be difficult for some individuals. The presence of family support is a very important factor for individuals who can cope. The approach, communication style, support and patience shown by the family to the member affected by trauma contribute to the individual's return to life.
The needs of individuals who encounter trauma can be discussed in five groups.
1. Preschool children 2. School age children 3. Adolescents 4. Adults 5. Elderly people
Every individual has common needs, regardless of whether they are children, young people, elderly people or disabled people. Common needs include keeping oneself, one's loved ones and one's family safe, being able to meet one's needs to survive one's life, feeling valued, being informed about one's life and one's rights without causing uncertainty, and the need for information about medical developments. 1.Children in the preschool period
Children in this period tend to associate what is happening in the world with their own behavior and interpret it with the emotional reactions of their parents. They may think that this happened to them because of a behavior they should not have done, so this situation should be taken into consideration. It should be clearly stated that the negative situation experienced has nothing to do with his/her behavior.
Children in this period can express their feelings more easily through games. We can try to understand the emotions he/she is experiencing by playing games or drawing more frequently. Additionally, angry reactions, desire to cry, disruption of sleep patterns, waking up crying, changes in appetite, tics, speech difficulties, and baby-like behavior can be considered as clues showing that the events we experience are affecting the child.
What can we do?
Assist the child in this period that you are safe. You can often express, in a safe tone, your love for him and each other, that scientists are trying to make medicines and vaccines to solve the problems, that the administrators, doctors and police in our country are taking precautions for your health and safety.
Television and you can ensure that traumatic news is not watched on the internet. You can answer their questions accurately, clearly, and in unison with all family members, appropriate to their age. You can try to play games, explore activities together, create pleasant daily routines, make toys from materials at home, have them talk on the phone with their friends, do sports, sing songs together, make cookies, write stories.
2.School age children
Children in this period experience avoidance of communication, anger, physical complaints, headache, stomach ache, changes in sleep and appetite, loss of interest in social activities, alienation from studies, sibling jealousy, hyperactivity, Emotional and behavioral changes such as inability to stop, aggressive behavior, fear may be observed.
What Can Be Done?
Creating daily routines for the school-age child, preparing the ground for expressing his/her feelings and thoughts, expressing your own feelings and thoughts. It is important to be able to express it in a way that can create a model. By sharing information about the process, you may be able to see the mistakes and deficiencies that have occurred in his mind. You can give him age-appropriate responsibilities at home that he can enjoy, and help him communicate with his friends, teachers, and elders he respects and loves. You can support him/her to find and maintain hobbies. By talking about their aggressive attitudes and behaviors without getting angry, you can indicate that you are trying to understand the reason for these behaviors and that you are upset by these behaviors.
3. Adolescents
During traumatic processes, some adolescents may engage in problematic behaviors such as rebellious and aggressive behavior, turning to risk-taking behaviors, drinking alcohol and smoking, as well as withdrawing, being irritable, crying, and sleeping and eating problems.
Failure to fulfill responsibilities, making sudden reactions, family and friends They may also engage in unexpected behavior in their relationships. Physical complaints, weakness, anxiety and depressive symptoms may also be observed.
What can we do?
In approaching adolescents, a non-oppressive, encouraging approach can be taken.
The language used can be made solution-oriented rather than conflict-oriented.
You can try to explain the feelings and thoughts you experience when you do not fulfill your responsibilities towards your lessons and housework. It will be good to be able to do things regularly without wanting to, and it will make you feel self-confident.
You can ask about their feelings and thoughts regarding the traumatic event and what possible solution suggestions are. You can start a constructive conversation depending on the answer he gives.
Peer support is very important in this age group, support should be given to maintain communication with peers.
The adolescent may be asked to choose and lead the exercises that can be done at home.
4. Adults
Although the idea that one should act in a controlled manner within the family during the traumatic process and take care of family members in need of attention and support may provide strength in coping with the trauma, it is also a situation that can lead to exhaustion.
A state of constant alertness. It can lead to crying and outbursts of anger. There may be an increase in alcohol and cigarette use. While there may be physical complaints such as gastrointestinal problems, pain, sleeping and eating problems, fatigue, an increase in existing health problems may also be observed.
What can be done?
An adult who cares for his family and relatives should not experience burnout. It may make you feel better to observe your own thoughts and feelings and share them with your loved ones.
Asking for support from family members by establishing open communication, instead of expecting them to think about issues such as sharing household chores without expressing them, accepting that they cannot provide a solution for every issue, and accepting that uncertainty will arise after the measures taken. Trying to maintain faith in the days when it will end can be healing suggestions.
Creating routines that will not be tiring and enjoyable, while video or audio calls on the phone with family members, friends and neighbors who are far away can be a powerful tool in coping with trauma.
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