If you are reading this article, it is possible that you are aware that you are unhappy in your relationship, but you cannot end it…
Why can't you end the relationship?
Perhaps it reminds you of a familiar feeling from the past. you and you haven't realized it yet.
In the past you may have grown up in a family environment where you were disapproved, felt helpless, where your opinions were ignored and you feared abandonment.
Perhaps your whole childhood required you to be strong.
Perhaps that past made you believe that we are not worthy of love and that you should strive for it.
Think of the environment in which you grew up in the past. How was the communication? Was it closed and dull? Was there empathy? Did you feel loved?
Maybe it's not the relationship you're trying to make up for now, but your past childhood, resentments, sorrows and silences. You can only recognize and feel emotions when they are exaggerated. That's why you choose dramatic, problematic relationships that can make you feel intense emotions. Because actually those waters are familiar to you and you actually feel safe and at home in that insecure place. When you see that lack of love you experienced as a child in the past, it feels familiar and you try to fix it instead of running away from it. In any case, he blames himself and says, “Actually, if I hadn't done this, he wouldn't have done that either.” or “No one has a perfect relationship, I have to settle for something.” You try to normalize your partner's behavior and feelings and inculcate yourself. Your fears belong to the past, not the present.
We don't have a choice about what we went through as a child, but as an adult we can make a choice and now is the time to make a choice. If you also feel stuck in such a situation, getting psychological support during this process is the best thing you can give yourself. It may be the right decision.
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