While violence is described as a negative action as old as human history and has taken its place in the literature (wars, post-war captivity, etc.), violence against women has not been examined with the same care, but has entered the literature recently. However, this entry; Violence against women has been brought to a legitimate ground with laws such as the fact that it was legal for a man to beat his wife in the USA until 1884, and in 18th-19th century England, it was considered a right for a man to use any means, including pressure and violence, to control his wife and to beat his wife with a stick. In our country, although it is not legitimized, there is a social acceptance and it has continued to exist as an issue kept within the family, dominated by the mentality of "if the arm breaks, it stays in the sleeve". “However, with the influence of feminism in the 1970s, the existence of violence against women and the elderly came to the fore and accordingly, violence against women; They are grouped under the headings of rape, incest, pornography, trafficking in women, forced prostitution, exploitation of the workforce, dragging women and girls into debt, rape and wife beating. Among these, wife beating is the most common and legitimate form of violence.” (Koyuncu, 2014,) As can be understood, the reason why violence against women has similarities no matter what society it occurs in is that it has a common point of “male dominance”. This situation has led to women being exposed to violence more easily within the family, where we think they are most protected. “According to the 1993 UN declaration against violence against women, “whether in public or private spaces, any act that causes women to suffer physical, mental, social, sexual and economic harm, harms their dignity, prevents them from exercising their fundamental rights and freedoms, and will lead to the continuation of discrimination against women.” The rate of violence against women, defined as "an act", is 39.3% in Turkey (Koyuncu, 2014). These numbers are also the numbers that directly threaten the healthy family system. Because the negative effects of violence can be very damaging, especially for the woman who is exposed to it, and for all family members, including the perpetrator, and can even lead to irreversible consequences. Considering the future of the family, children's physical, social and psychological well-being While it should be raised in good spirits, it is seen that both the causes and consequences of violence undermine this state of well-being.
* Karatay University Family Counseling Master's Degree with Thesis, [email protected]
Shown among the causes of violence against women;
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Adjustment disorders, unwanted marriages,
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Social cultural differences,
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Economic problems, unemployment, stress,
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Problems that men experience outside of marriage,
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Their desire to be in control and their desire to determine women's behavior and strengthen their own sovereignty,
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Movies or music that encourage violence,
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Living outside of marriage, being divorced,
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Low education level ,
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Cheating, jealousy, lying, sexual incompatibilities,
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Mental and mental health diseases,
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Addictions such as alcohol, gambling, drugs, TV, internet or porn(Akçelik,2016,ss16),(Koyuncu,2014)
It should be discussed that in case of the existence or re-occurrence of one or more of such situations, a man who cannot use his coping skills and turns to violence may be filled with the concept of fatherhood. In this case, the child will not be able to establish a loving and solid relationship with his father, and will have difficulty in developing and maintaining good relationships with other children, adults and spouses in the future. Likewise, the consequences of violence on oneself,
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Losing the ability to look at people or events in a healthy way,
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Learned helplessness, intense fear and depression,
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Panic, anxiety, insecurity, feelings of hopelessness,
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Difficulty in sexual life,
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Drug or alcohol addiction,
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Psychosomatic disorders (stomach ache, headache, fainting),
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Stress is broken desire for death,
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Self-harm, murder,
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Wish for death,
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A woman who suffers from temporary or permanent disabilities or diseases (Koyuncu,2014)
A woman will be deficient in being a healthy and competent mother. At the same time, since violence usually occurs in an angry, angry and emotional environment, fathers and mothers are naturally not in a rational position to direct their attention to children. Research has shown that parents generally do not make any effort to prevent their children from witnessing violence between them. It is a great mistake that the majority of men who use violence against their wives think that they do not harm their children while treating them well (Özgüven, 2010, p301). There are opinions that the majority of those who commit domestic violence are not among children who are directly exposed to violence, but rather those who witness violence between their parents (Kaymak Özmen, 2004, p.35). These children will naturally take their parents as role models, think that the problems around them are solved through anger and aggression, and will perceive violence as a problem-solving behavior. This situation is an effective factor in boys' learning to use violence as a means of proving authority or maintaining dominance, and in girls' attitudes towards violence in the future. In fact, in a study conducted to examine the self-esteem levels and social adaptation sub-dimensions of the children of mothers who reported being exposed to physical violence, there was a significant difference between them and the children of mothers who were not subjected to violence. A negative difference was detected (Bağışoğlu,2017,pp39). When we look at women's attitudes towards violence;
They normalize violence, thinking that it can happen in all marriages, and they turn a blind eye to it happening occasionally,
They worry that they will be exposed to more if they resist,
Believing that their spouse is violent because they love them,
Holding themselves responsible for aggressive behavior,
Divorce is shameful, They turn a blind eye to violence for reasons such as the family will not take care of them, the children and themselves will remain poor, the father will use his rights over the children to his advantage,
They do not lose their belief that their spouse will change one day and will not use violence. p>
This situation puts the family in a vicious circle in terms of violence, and the foundations of new families that show and experience violence are laid. Considering that we have emphasized that the most important building block of society is the family, family members should be shown what can be done to review their responsibilities, rights and duties and to gain coping skills in order to break this vicious circle as soon as possible.
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