Trauma is a state of imbalance between a stressful, painful and difficult event that a person has faced and the capacity to cope with it psychologically. It is a condition that negatively affects the life of the individual, leaves lasting effects, causes anxiety and fear, stress, and feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. Psychic trauma, on the other hand, is the effects of extraordinary and unexpected events that frighten the person, leave them terrified, and create despair. There are many events that cause distress and sadness in human life, but not all of them create psychological trauma. If the event has caused fear, horror, despair; If there is a danger of death or injury to the person and himself or his relatives, it is called mental trauma. Situations such as natural disasters, human-made traumas (harassment, rape, separation and divorce, job loss, torture, war), accidents, unexpected deaths, unexpected sudden events, serious-fatal diseases of the person himself and his relatives can cause mental trauma. The long and continuous effects of mental trauma on the person reveal the symptoms of "post-traumatic stress disorder". In post-traumatic stress disorder; insomnia, nightmares, easy startle, irritability, frequent recollection of memories of the traumatic event, fear of repetition of the traumatic event and therefore feeling on edge, inability to plan for the future, feeling constantly nervous and restless, feared event at any moment Behaviors such as feeling alert as if it will happen, alienation (the feeling that others do not understand me or what I am going through), feelings of helplessness, regret, unhappiness, worthlessness, hopelessness, and avoiding places, people and situations that remind of the event can be seen. Avoidance behavior is an effort to stay away from places, situations, people, conversations, even feelings and thoughts that remind the event as much as possible. Because remembering the event causes great distress, pain, and fear, the person does not go to places that remind of the event, does not talk about these topics, or stays away from places where they are spoken. The purpose of the person is to try to desensitize himself, to ignore the problem, to ignore it, but the feeling of uneasiness caused by the trauma is to the extent that the person suppresses it. urea continues more violently. Unresolved, unresolved trauma and grief can last for years and can greatly disrupt a person's life and functioning. If we look at the issue of mourning, which has similar contexts with trauma; Grief is a natural process that occurs with the loss of loved ones that are valuable to him, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of his beloved job, the loss of his pet, the loss of his relationship and bond, and the loss of his health. While we experience events that we can control throughout our lives, we are also exposed to events that are beyond our control and affect us deeply. The situations over which we have relatively little control are experiences such as marriage, changing jobs, having children, and getting an education. Even the end of things we can control is a grieving process. For example, in a marriage that takes place with very intense emotions, on the one hand, a person is full of enthusiasm and happiness, on the one hand, he is in the sadness of the death of celibacy, or having a child gives a great enthusiasm to the families, on the other hand, the addition of a new person to the family includes a process of mourning for the end of the family of two. Losses come at the beginning of the events that we cannot control. We grieve when we are deprived of a loved one as a result of the loss. The grieving process is normal and must be experienced. Grief is the most natural response to an irreversible loss or change. This natural response should not be interfered with. Since the grief reactions are very similar to the symptoms of depression, the people around the survivor often see the grieving period as a problem. In fact, in case of loss, people are taken directly to the emergency room and injections are made. On the contrary, it is perfectly normal for a person to feel sad and cry in the face of loss. In such periods, false beliefs in society draw attention as much as possible. You are strong, don't cry, think about your children, you have to stand up very often. On the contrary, it is perfectly normal for an individual to experience the pain, cry, and not want to do anything. If the mourning process continues without a decrease in the emotions experienced over time and the situation is not accepted, it turns out that the loss has a traumatic effect. Prolonged processes in this way do not fall under the scope of mourning and need to be intervened. When a person grieves, their social environment is also affected. r. He may be absent from work for weeks, disconnecting from his friends. However, over time, it is expected that this situation will gradually improve and that the person will return to the functionality of his life before the loss. This does not mean that one cannot miss the person they lost. It is very natural to miss the lost person and to remember the beautiful moments lived together. The problem arises when the person who has been lost comes to mind with the state of the permanent loss after the loss, and when negative emotional states such as pain, extreme sadness, and depression continue unabated. 3-6 months after the loss, the person does not change in this state or if he experiences this situation more severely; If feelings of worthlessness have increased (such things always happen to me, I don't deserve anything, I don't deserve happiness, I'm doomed to experience them), getting psychological support is extremely important. While the length of the mourning process may vary depending on intermediate situations such as the communication with the deceased, the bond, the psychological strength of the person, the manner of death of the deceased, the lifestyle he was exposed to after death, etc., certain stages are observed in this process.
The first stage of the process is denial. At this stage, the person has difficulty in understanding the reality of death. While he may be confused, dull and unresponsive to the news, he may try to continue his life in the same order as if nothing had happened. If someone is lost in a family of four, the table is served for 4 people as if the person is alive, or the phone number of the lost person is not deleted, and continuous messages can be sent to him. This stage may take a few hours, maybe days, or even weeks. This situation varies according to the person himself and the bond he establishes with the person. When the situation is faced after the denial stage, the longing and sadness for the person gradually increase, making the person feel intense pain. Sometimes, due to the intense effect of the process on him, he feels anger towards what happened or towards the person who died. Because anger at this stage is perfectly healthy and helps her cope with loss, intervening or trying to suppress these emotions may not be good for the process. If he wants to cry, he should be allowed to cry, emotions should not be suppressed. Then the person slowly starts to calm down. Azaran is calmer. He prays, reviews his new life. Then comes a period of completely confronting the facts. He can see the differences between his old life and his new life, and these changes cause him to enter a depressive period. He may face situations such as stagnation, loss of appetite, insomnia, introversion, and inability to do many of the habits he enjoys. The deep sadness of the loss emerges at this stage. It is important for the person experiencing loss to experience this process and it should not be forgotten that it will be comforting for them to be able to share their feelings. Then the acceptance phase begins to show itself. After experiencing all the processes after the loss, the person will now be able to look ahead. He will be able to make plans for the future and take steps to get his life back on track.
It is not a case that every individual from the grieving process will go through these stages in this order. Some periods can be seen intertwined in some individuals. The length of the process also varies from person to person. However, if he is still having problems in accepting and returning to his social life for more than 6 months, he should definitely get support from a specialist. If we look at what is the equivalent of trauma and grief in psychotherapy; Working with trauma and bereavement in psychotherapy is as sensitive a matter as performing open heart surgery. But the trauma and grieving experience that is painful makes itself felt in almost every area. Touching and experiencing feelings that are painful and that one does not want to touch are of great importance when working with trauma and grief. In the face of trauma and bereavement, it is extremely important to process emotions effectively by reaching, accepting, expressing, regulating and tolerating the emotions they basically feel. Psychotherapy allows people to make sense of and reflect on their emotions, and perhaps most importantly, helps them transform their emotions. In other words, a deep sense of sadness, guilt and worthlessness can be replaced by righteous anger that serves to defend oneself, or fleeing or prolonging with a sense of fear. The tendency to come to terms can be transformed into experiencing the emotion of sadness and satisfying the need for consolation and love. However, traumas often damage the psychological resilience of the person. The person can no longer find the strength and self-confidence he felt in the past. At this point, working with the emotions he does not want to touch; It should enable the person to touch those emotions, to see the emotions that he does not want to see, even if it is painful. Working with emotions that the person feels but does not want to see, and regulation of emotions; In fact, it allows the person to take a deep breath, the negative thoughts that are constantly circulating in his mind, and the state of constantly reviving the past. It should not be forgotten that every thought that is suppressed is destined to come to light.
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