VALENTINE'S DAY LONELINESS

With the approach of Valentine's Day, February 14, which is celebrated every year and considered the most romantic day; While there are couples who make special plans for that day, there are also couples who do not care about this date. But the real problem is giving too much importance to Valentine's Day and being lonely... People who have problems in maintaining relationships feel lonely and become pessimistic, especially on such special days. Expert Psychologist Seliyha Doşır Elbeyoğlu made suggestions for those who are lonely on Valentine's Day and have problems with relationships.

Love is the most basic need of the soul

To be loved and to love, to know that we are special for someone, is one of the most basic needs of people. Whether you have someone special in your life or not; have persistent trouble initiating and maintaining relationships; Even everyone who pessimistically closes themselves off from relationships or deliberately avoids them, but everyone wants to come into contact with a “loveable other” in a closeness that includes love, care, empathy, respect, compassion, understanding and protection. it needs. This is one of the most basic needs of the human soul. The process of intercourse is something that is normally spontaneous and does not require any special skills. Relationship allows us to give and receive love, respect, and trust from the other person and makes life feel good for the person. Especially our need for love can be met within relationships.

Paying Excessive Importance to Valentine's Day Leads to Pessimism

There are people who are in a relationship or who might be in a relationship even if they are not at the moment. For most people who are not too pessimistic about what life can bring to them, special days such as "Valentine's Day" can be an exciting tool for their relationship; It can be an ordinary day, whether in a relationship or not. However, for some people this situation is different. Such special days; It triggers his pessimism and makes him feel lonely. In other words, it partially causes him to feel bitterness somewhere inside him. This is a situation that can find meaning in much more than not having a lover or a spouse...

They Have Difficulty in Finding Love

Indeed, for some individuals, they can be loved in adulthood and with the other. secure bond It is very difficult to establish relationships and feel close and belonging. They cannot give and receive love as easily as others. While they are satisfied in all areas of life, they experience a recurring problem in initiating or maintaining relationships. They are chronically disappointed by people, or they are disappointing themselves, or they have just given up trying. The normally spontaneous relationship process becomes a much more challenging process for some people. This is caused by rigid "thinking-emotion and behavior" patterns that usually come from childhood through temperament and upbringing, allowing us to make negative comments about ourselves and the other person.

7 Thought Mistakes That Make People Difficult to Initiate and Maintain the Relationship

Having a high level of fear of rejection

Having the skepticism that constantly questions the other person's intentions rather than leaving it alone until the relationship is solid

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Feeling a great need to "name it" in the early stages, without waiting for faith in the relationship to be formed

Deliberately avoiding expressing expectations and needs in order not to appear demanding or eager, and always waiting for a step from the other party

Unable to bear the uncertainty of being abandoned or deceived in relationships; Trying to live the relationship together with the fear of being abandoned at any moment

Trying to decide on the best that can happen; Having a strict perfectionist perspective

Being in a state of deprivation, believing that one cannot be special to anyone and cannot be loved by anyone. Or feeling like you have to be someone special in order to be special to someone

Don't Spend Valentine's Day Alone

If you are experiencing long-standing relationship problems in a recurring cycle, Something somewhere inside you is definitely whispering to you“There is something wrong with this”. This is to first identify your "rigid thought, affect and behavior patterns" that disrupt the harmony we have developed for relationships and deprive you of meeting your most basic needs and take steps to change them "Valentine's Day" If you are alone on Valentine's Day and you attach great importance to this day, the best way to not feel lonely is to be with your loved ones. You can make plans with your friends or family and organize an activity that you will enjoy. Feeling the presence of loved ones and contacting them on such days is one of the best ways to avoid feeling pessimistic.

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