Anger is a normal emotion that exists within us. It is generally known what anger means in terms of life in humans and animals. Threats to existence are especially evident and more destructive. Anger can be defined as an aggressive response to frustration, hurt, or intimidation, anger, rage, or rage. The intensity of the expression of anger varies depending on the severity of the events encountered or the anxiety it creates within us.
General reasons that cause anger can be listed as follows:
1-On the way to the desired goal. Individual inadequacies or failures experienced,
2-Social disappointments,
3-Anger may naturally arise in the face of injustices that a person is exposed to. Yes, the emergence of anger is not a problem, but what causes the anger or how we express it can be a significant problem. And in fact, anger, like all our emotions, is a useful emotion when expressed correctly.
For example; A mother can frown at her child's misbehavior and, if she cannot see his face, send an audible signal to make the child stop the behavior. However, if the child receives this signal but continues to do the same behavior after a while, when the mother cannot resolve the situation with the same action again, this time her anger level may increase and turn into anger because her authority is shaken.
At this point, the mother violently reflects this feeling on the child, It would not be a correct behavior to turn it into physical contact. Because this type of behavior may be something that the child can easily learn and apply to others.
So, why do not all of us become aggressive or engage in damaging behavior when we are angry, but some of us do? In this situation, while the anger experienced by the person is an emotion, aggression, destructiveness and violence are behaviors. And depending on the person, the emotion of anger will be expressed in different ways. A person filled with anger can be aggressive, destructive, or extremely quiet, introverted and broken.
If the way we reflect it when we get angry is very destructive and we experience regrets afterwards, we have a problem. It means there is. When some people get angry, they may argue that the things they did were right, and bearing the consequences can make them even more angry. At the same time, if we display a passive-aggressive attitude towards events that arouse our anger, and then instead of confronting this situation or person, we display more tense or revenge-oriented attitudes, and if we adopt a sarcastic or humiliating style, we still have a problem. Because these behaviors not only negatively affect our self-perception but also change our perception of ourselves differently. It can lead to disordered personality traits.
While anger is a natural emotion, how it is shown to the outside is a problem. Problems in anger control may arise from genetic or physiological reasons. At the same time, it is more common in children who grow up in loveless, uncaring, very strict environments. It is frequently seen. Some children may be more tense, angry and restless since their infancy. For this reason, reasons such as family attitudes, social environment, genetic characteristics, psychiatric problems in the family, physiological reasons, physical and cognitive disabilities are held responsible.
Anger In control, it is a priority to identify the things that cause anger. In other words, the factors determined before the behavior are the 1st step.
2. A behavioral support that focuses on the behavior that occurs in step 1 and the consequences of the behavior in step 3 can be useful in anger control.
In step 1, the environment in which the behavior occurs, the events, and the situations that trigger or increase the situation should be reviewed. It is necessary for the person to stay away from environments that cause anger to be expressed as aggression and destructiveness, or to determine ways to avoid it. And strengthening relationships with more appropriate role models will be supportive.
For example, it would be appropriate to distance them from aggressive games, direct them to more creative actions, and provide support to control the behavior of role models with aggressive attitudes at home.
Desensitization studies against the event we are exposed to are very useful. In addition, many methods should be used together, such as improving the correct communication methods and the ability to use the correct language, teaching the person to self-suggest, and supporting the situation with various calming exercises. �r.
Step 2, the resulting behavior, and in order to change this behavior, it is necessary to work on the negative consequences that arise directly, that is, step 3.
The behavior of the person when he cannot control his anger. The results should be discussed one by one. And ultimately, he must be taught that he is responsible for these behaviors. It is an important teaching to gradually extinguish the behavior with positive reinforcements and to give some restrictions after the behavior, that is, to teach the behavior to pay the price.
Stop-think-do exercises, breathing and muscle exercises should be taught one-on-one before the behavior occurs. And it should be explained to the person that this situation is under their control, that they can control it if they allocate enough time, and it should be clearly explained how they will support the individuals at home, especially in studies with children. It can increase the motivation of the child by rewarding him/her in various ways.
These rewards are only useful if they are presented as a reward for his efforts, not as a bribe. Yes, ANGER is a normal emotion, but it is a situation that needs to be controlled when it negatively affects social and family life with excessive and destructive behavior. Because the consequences of these behaviors can negatively affect a person's family, social, school or business life, causing negativities in personality development, psychological and physiological structure.
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