HOW SHOULD YOUR APPROACH TO YOUR CHILD'S ANGER BATTLES?
Children's uncontrollable tantrums and incessant crying are a measure of our patience. We experience the most important moments when we feel tested. So, is the solution to yell at our child who throws a tantrum, beats himself up and cries?
Yesterday, after work, I stopped by a supermarket to do some shopping. While I was wandering around the sections of the market, putting the things I was going to buy into the basket, I got stuck in one section. Because the dialogue between a child and a mother caught my attention.
The child insistently asks for chocolate from his mother, even though his hands are full of chocolate. The mother first explained that she could not take it for a long time. The child still insisted. Then the mother explained it again with the same sentences at length. I'll draw your attention, while he is telling the story, he continues shopping. It was obvious from the moment he arrived that this crying would not remain at the initial level.
The mother said consecutive sentences such as "You do this every time you have your hands full, that's enough, I won't bring you shopping again..." and then, while the child was still crying, the next move came from the mother. The mother shouted at the child as hard and as loudly as possible.
The child continued to increase his crying level.
When I went to the other aisle, the mother was still angry, constantly complaining, and the child was still crying.
Do you think there is something else to do? Isn't there anything? Are these the most appropriate responses in this situation? Does shouting bring a solution?
Solution Focused Response;
✔ Setting shopping rules.
"You can only buy 1 thing you want"
✔ Giving responsibility.
"Making him buy or carry something from the shopping list in accordance with his age."
✔ Reminding the rule to the child who comes with a request.
"We have an agreement, you remember. ?"
✔ Giving a direct message to the child who starts to insist.
"Leaning down to the child's eye level, making eye contact and touching in a determined, clear tone of voice
"We bought 1 thing you asked for and we won't buy anything else"
✔ Distract your attention.
"Don't give it to me. I really need you to help me carry the file." or "Let's choose toothpaste
."
✔ Reflecting the child's emotion.
"You are angry now and that's it." That's why you're crying. You want me to take it so bad. Let's not forget to buy this next time "sitting" or "holding him on your lap and just touching him to calm him down."
If none of these help the anger and crying go away, your child has made you do what he wants by crying and getting angry many times. Therefore, he will force you until he gets you to do what he wants. This behavior is to teach your child the right behavior. Following the order every time and showing your determination will solve the situation.
Read: 0
