Although sexuality outside of marriage or relationship is not widely approved by societies, it is noteworthy that not everyone is monogamous. It is seen that many individuals have sexual intercourse outside of the relationship while their marriages or relationships continue. However, many people argue that cheating should not be considered only as sexual intercourse.
It is known that there has been an increase in extramarital affairs in recent years. It can be said that the reason why many studies are conducted on extramarital relationships is that such relationships cause great harm to the marital relationship. It is stated that, unlike monogamy and polygamy, the continuity of the relationship and fidelity are often used interchangeably, and the duration of the relationship is generally accepted as the degree of fidelity. Although there are no reliable statistics in this field, Vaughan's (1998) study found the cheating rate to be 60% for men and 40% for women. In a study conducted with divorced couples, it was observed that this rate was 44% for men and 40% for women (Janus and Janus, 1993).
Studies show that people who have friends around them who support them having extramarital affairs are more likely to engage in this type of behavior. It has been determined that they show a lot of At the same time, it seems that those who have engaged in this type of behavior in the past have a high tendency to repeat the same behavior. It is generally argued that men have more extramarital affairs than women. According to another view, children who are exposed to cheating in their families have a higher risk of cheating in later ages. It is possible to explain this by stating that children repeat the same pattern by taking family relationships as a model.
A study found that adults who know that their fathers are cheating are more likely to repeat the cheating in their own lives. However, this does not appear to be the case for adults who know their mothers are cheating. The same study found that this situation is possible for men; However, it was observed that there was no significant result for women.
In addition, there was a difference between the beginning of the relationship and the decision to marry for men. It is seen that as time increases, the tendency to cheat also increases. In this context, it can be said that the way people in long-term relationships live their relationship and their perspective on the relationship has an impact on cheating. It is stated that protracted relationships are relationships that have a long dating period and the decision to marry is made late. In these relationships, it is observed that couples spend less time with each other, separate from their partners during leisure activities, and do not do daily chores together.
In addition, people who do not see the possibility of marriage as high in such relationships spend their time in order to keep their other options open. It is claimed that they reserved the section for others. It is stated that the reasons for deciding to get married in long-term relationships are events outside the relationship (changed job, got sick, fate). It can be said that conflicts occur when it comes to sharing the same house in these couples who do not take time to get to know each other before marriage. It is known that conflicts increase the tendency to cheat. In addition, these individuals who consider premarital sex alternatives; It is argued that even if they are in a happy, satisfied and equal relationship, they can encounter attractive alternatives.
In addition to these, another dimension is seen to be arranged marriage, which is the traditional form of marriage when working with a Turkish sample. In the study conducted by Boğda and Şendil (2012), it was observed that the type of marriage did not have a significant effect on the tendency to cheat. However, considering that as the time between the beginning of the relationship and the decision to marry decreases, the tendency to cheat decreases; It can be said that in arranged marriages, starting with a marriage decision should also be taken into consideration. It is seen that individuals with a traditional schema are the ones who feel the most commitment in their marriages.
Another point to consider is that one of the reasons for cheating in men is the search for novelty. Seeking novelty may also lead to some conflicts due to decreased excitement and boredom towards the partner. Most likely, since men generally speak little, their words are perceived as meaningful and important.
In both men and women It has been found that there are negative and significant relationships between marital adjustment and the tendency to cheat (Amato and Previti, 2003). In this context, it can be said that the tendency of women and men with high marital harmony to cheat decreases, or as the tendency to cheat decreases, marital harmony increases. It is noteworthy that the relationships between the marital harmony of women and men and their conflict tendencies are also negatively significant.
In addition, it is seen that the conflict tendencies of women and men with high marital harmony decrease, or as their conflict tendencies increase, their marital harmony decreases. Additionally, it is stated that there is a positive and significant relationship between the tendency to cheat and the tendency to conflict in women and men. It is argued that the conflict tendencies of women and men with a high tendency to cheat also increase, or that the tendency to cheat of women and men with a low tendency to conflict decreases.
Types of Cheating
When the studies in the literature are examined, it is seen that there are four types of cheating: emotional cheating, long-term cheating, one-night stand, and lust. It is seen that cheating in terms of emotional and sexuality is named in 3 ways: emotional cheating, only sexuality, emotional and sexuality. Emotional cheating is when a person experiences emotional closeness with someone else, falls in love with someone else, or shares a private relationship with someone else while having an ongoing romantic relationship. Again, having sexual intercourse with someone else while having a romantic relationship can be defined as sexual cheating. While sexuality-oriented cheating is more common in men, it is stated that emotional and sexuality-focused cheating is more common in women.
Reasons for Cheating
In their research, Yeniçeri and Kökdemir (2004) stated that there are six dimensions regarding the reasons why cheaters cheat:
A.Blame: According to this study, men focus too much on their work. Among the reasons why women cheat are that they have time to spare or have difficulty accepting criticism about their own mothers.
B. Social structure: The person grew up in a conservative environment. His wife, getting married early, being with fewer men/women during adolescence, and having an arranged marriage are among the reasons for cheating.
C. Seduction:Again, according to this study, it was found that men attach more meaning to the dimensions of saying no to the other party and being seduced. Men stated that 'seduction' was more important as a reason for cheating. While women said they would not cheat because of 'seduction', men stated that they thought both genders could cheat for this reason.
D. Sexuality:Again, in this study, it was found that men had sexual intercourse with other women because their wives did not want to have sexual intercourse before marriage, and women found it natural for their wives to have sexual intercourse with other women so that they could meet their sexual needs before marriage, since they were not married.
E. Revenge:Men refer to the revenge dimension more than women, and it is found that especially women cheat out of revenge. This dimension, which consists of possible reasons such as because the person they are with deserves it, to punish the person they are with, because they are angry with the person they are with, or just out of spite, is seen as the reason why "women cheat", especially by men.
F. Search for stimulation: Reasons such as novelty, excitement, search for entertainment, boredom with monotony can also cause cheating. This dimension, which can be called stimulus seeking, is important for both women and men. It does not matter whether the cheater is a man or a woman; Stimulus seeking can be a reason for deception in both conditions. For example, a person who says that he cheated because he has been married to the same person for many years falls under this dimension.
When the studies are examined, it is seen that the factors affecting cheating are grouped under 3 headings: personal factors, external factors and relational factors (Duba, Kindsvatter and Lara, 2008). Personal factors; It is stated that it includes factors such as satisfaction in marriage, curiosity, excuses, and unhappy sexual intercourse. In a study, the problems in marriage, especially for women, It has been observed that tmi has a significant effect on the tendency to cheat. When the findings of this research are examined, it is seen that 66% of women are unhappy before cheating, while 30% of men are unhappy before cheating. In this context, it can be said that women are more prone to cheat when they experience unhappiness in their primary relationships. According to Blow and Hartnett (2005), emotional neglect and feelings of rejection in primary relationships are among the factors that lead women, especially, to cheat. In addition, unhappiness in sexual intercourse is also shown as one of the reasons for cheating. It is argued that especially men's sexual dissatisfaction in their primary relationships increases their tendency to cheat (Liu, 2000). Additionally, children have a very limited impact on marital satisfaction; However, the number, age and character of children are among the factors that affect cheating in marriages. One of the personal factors is religious beliefs.
In many religions, cheating is a religiously prohibited phenomenon. The fact that it is prohibited by religion can also be considered among the factors that help couples stay away from cheating.
In addition, when studies on cheating are examined, it is seen that people's income status and whether they work or not are two important factors. Studies have shown that people with an annual income of more than $3000 are more likely to cheat. It is also stated that whether a person's spouse works or not is one of the factors affecting cheating. One of the spouses working and the other not being able to work is one of the factors that pushes couples to cheat, as it disrupts the balance in the relationship. Another factor affecting cheating is the level of education. Especially for women, when their partner's education level is lower than theirs, the woman is more likely to cheat on her husband.
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