The engagement period is important for the parties to see and like each other before marriage, to find out how close they can be, and to minimize some possible problems. In addition, there are things that couples should pay attention to during the engagement period.
Since the most important purpose of marriage is to establish a peaceful home and raise healthy generations, the engagement period has been accepted as legitimate for people who are considering getting married to get to know each other. Legitimating such an interim period before marriage has many benefits for the people who are getting married and their families. This process provides the opportunity for the couple who will establish a marriage union in the future to get to know each other. It gives both parties the opportunity to examine their morals, temperaments and predispositions. In this way, the parties have the opportunity to have an opinion about each other, learn the material and moral value measurements and take precautions. This essentially means consciously preparing for marriage.
Another importance of engagement is that it provides the opportunity to determine whether there are any marriage obstacles between the parties. Because the engagement will be known primarily by relatives and neighbors, if any of the parties has a situation that prevents the marriage, there is an opportunity to prevent it in time. In this way, a marriage that will be deemed invalid in the future will be stopped in time before it even takes place. Being each other's foster siblings is one of the most important problems experienced today. Unfortunately, such situations can be encountered because sufficient research is not done and such religious sensitivities are not taken into consideration.
What should be the relationship with one's fiancée?
Engagement It is merely a promise to marry that explains the parties' intention to marry. In this respect, a man and a woman are not halal to each other by getting engaged unless they are married. They are strangers to each other until the marriage takes place. Privacy continues between them. Being engaged, the parties cannot act towards each other as if they were married. After the engagement, as before, there are all the boundaries between two strangers meeting. In this regard, they should know that they must pay attention to privacy limits. As a matter of fact, Hz. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever among you believes in Allah and the Last Day should not be alone with a woman who does not have a mahram. Because if they do this, the third one will become the devil.” (Bukhari, Nikah) said.
Engaged people should see each other
The people who are getting married should see and like each other before marriage, physically and mentally. It is important for them to investigate to what extent they can establish spiritual closeness and to minimize some family problems that may arise in the future. If there is a need for a man or a woman to talk privately with their prospective spouse, it is possible for them to have an appropriate conversation regarding their married life within the circle of decency, unless there is a situation of seclusion. The clear expression of this is as follows: There is no harm in a man and a woman talking in a way that does not violate etiquette in order to discuss and reach an agreement on some issues that they do not want others to know, in order to make the final decision to get married. In such meetings, good will and trust of both parties are essential.
Consuming a marriage with the hope of not committing haram while being engaged
The fiancés have a The fact that they have a "religious marriage" among themselves in order to be able to act comfortably when they come together and not to commit haram acts is not a marriage of the nature prescribed by Islamic law. Because in Islamic law, there is no type of marriage that is solemnized just to meet and talk. This task, which families do to ensure that men and women can meet and talk to each other more easily before the wedding, brings with it many drawbacks. One of these drawbacks is that young people who rely on religious marriage enter into marriage before the official marriage. In case of a religious marriage, the parties will be deemed to be married religiously, so there is no obstacle to them living together. However, when we look at the practices in our society, we come across "engaged people" who are religiously married but live separately. It can be very easy for parties who know each other as a married couple to give up on marriage due to the negativities they see from each other during this process. They can suddenly break the bond between them with the thought, "We haven't had a wedding yet and we haven't established a real marriage."
One of the most important drawbacks of having a religious marriage during the engagement period is that It is the situation of a woman who does not like her partner and does not want to have a husband-wife relationship with him. Because even if the woman requests a divorce, the woman will not be divorced religiously unless the man divorces her. Such cases occur frequently today. The sole reason for all these negativities is understandings such as being able to move freely before real marriage and preparing for marriage by flirting with today's understanding of civilization.
Our Prophet (pbuh) said, “Loving something makes you blind and deaf.” ” (Abu Dawud) says. Today, many young people come together under the name of engagement and engagement, travel, have fun, and then try to outdo each other. Most of the time, it is the girl who suffers from this. One of the disadvantages of being engaged in a religious marriage without an official marriage is that the man does not divorce the woman who wants to break up with her fiancée, and when they break up after a while in resentment, the parties reveal each other's flaws and thus undermine their future.
Henna night, wedding. Unfortunately, such marriages, which are performed without traditional rituals such as marriage and marriage, and without knowing the respect and value of marriage, result in negativity. Because true marriage brings the parties to a sense of responsibility, mutual respect and love. Due to real marriage, husband and wife look at each other as a trust given by God, they protect each other and turn a blind eye to all kinds of human mistakes... However, although the marriage performed before real marriage seems authentic, it lacks the feelings and values we have just mentioned. For this reason, our recommendation is to have a religious wedding on the eve of the wedding or even after the official wedding.
Read: 0
