Ismail Bey, around 55 years old, was a sullen, ambitious person who, as I said, saw talking too much as a waste of time. Since the day he was born, he had never received enough attention and love from his father that a child needs to grow up. He always followed his father's orders by remaining faithful to his orders, but could not pursue the profession he always dreamed of. However, he would become a doctor and help all people. He tried to talk to his father once when he was in high school. He could not get the permission that would save his life by taking the university exam. "Then let me get married," he said to his father. Her mother went to ask for Sacide, whom she had been in love with for years but could never open up to, the day school ended. The girl's side was astonished. Before they could rejoice for their daughter's high school graduation, they also hosted the guests. After thinking for a long time, the family decided that Ismail would be a good fortune for Sacide and approved the marriage. Although he cared about İsmail Sacide more than anything else, he never once told him that he loved him. He rarely even talked to Sacide and went to work in his father's shop. He now had only one thought; If she had a child, she would become a doctor and help all people. Two years after their marriage, Sacide gave birth to a daughter. Ismail Bey behaved just like his father and never showed love to his daughter. When he was asked when he first kissed his daughter, his answer was descriptive of this. He kissed his daughter's cheek for the first time on the day she started primary school. Semra, who had been afraid of her father for years, walked around the school with a big smile on her face all day. For the first time, his father acted like other children's fathers. He wanted to spend time with his father, but this had almost never happened in his life. While preparing for the university exams, Semra was strictly warned and told that she could not make any choice other than medical school. What his daughter thought was not taken into account at all. The only person who could guide Semra in choosing a career, just like her father did, was father İsmail. However, he dreamed of his career as a kindergarten teacher, not a doctor. He knew very well that if he reacted negatively, he would become a "bad" child. He considered what his father said as his command and started his medical education in Istanbul.
What about the Father's Love...
Something was always missing in Semra. Until that day, he tried to fill the love he could not find in his father by having an emotional relationship with people much older than himself, and he received heavy punishments from his father many times, but this situation could not be prevented. Now Semra is with a married businessman...
Whose fault is it? Father's or daughter's?
İsmail Bey was always angry with his father. He was a good son, but he never forgot the stone placed on the path he wanted to walk, but he succumbed to himself and did the same to his daughter. A problem we frequently encounter is that people try to make their children do what they want to do but cannot do. That each person has their own dreams and desires to do is often ignored, just like in this table.
However, they respect their children's future plans and feel understood with a caring and reassuring tone instead of giving them rare and short answers. If it had been given, neither Mr. Ismail nor Semra would be in this situation.
It should not be forgotten that every behavior you display and every word you say towards your child is an indication of the attitude they will exhibit to you in the future. Every time you scold him or humiliate him, your love in him decreases a little more.
It is not difficult at all to be a father who is always loved and remembered with love when you are no longer in the world. Do not avoid asking your child's opinion on family-related issues, not being threatening when speaking, and most importantly, making him feel loved by touching him. Don't decide the choices in your life. If necessary, talk about their choices together and review the pros and cons together. Otherwise, remember that you have a child who will always be angry with you, no matter how successful he is on the path you have chosen.
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