The effects of the separation process of couples are observed in children, who are the most sensitive members of the family. Although separation is the best way for parents, children may have difficulty in understanding and interpreting this situation. In this process, children's physical and emotional needs may be broken. It is normal for them to experience this difficulty for a while due to the deterioration of their habitual life patterns. In this process, parents can reduce the interest in their children due to focusing on various problems, which will cause children to experience emotional and behavioral self-confidence. As there will be various changes as a result of the divorce process, the child's environment will also change. Anxiety, stress and tension can be observed in children. The correct management of this process by the parents will be a very important factor for the child's psychology. In this process, the most important step after the couples make the decision to divorce will be how they will share with the child.
Talking with Children About Divorce
Talking about divorce with children can be an anxious process for parents and their children. Parents should avoid arguing in front of the child when discussing this issue. Children may experience more anxiety after the divorce process due to the change in living conditions. It will be important for the psychological process of the child that the parents arrange this process between themselves in advance and adjust the child's standard of living with as little variability as possible. Parents should proceed without reflecting their negative feelings and thoughts about each other on their children. After the parents decide to separate, informing the children that the separation is only between the parents and that the bond between the child and the parents will not affect the children can reduce the anxiety level of the children. The children will also want to know why the parents left. In this process, it is an important factor for them to make sense of the separation. They can convey that it is a joint decision of the parents without detailing the reasons for separation too much. Have both parents have this meeting together� It is important for children to show their love for them by telling them that everything ends on good terms, rather than yelling and emotionally destructive talk. Children will feel safe if dialogue takes place by allowing children to ask questions and convey their feelings. Parents' progress in this process by showing emotional maturity without blaming the other parent is a very important factor for the psychological development stages of children. Since they are divorced in agreement with the decision, the occurrence of traumatic experiences in children can be prevented easily. Even though the children's patterns have changed due to the change in the dynamics of family relations, the continuation of relations with both parents can lead to the progress of this process in a positive way. In this case, it will be necessary to approach very carefully for the psychology of children. Family lies, infidelity, separations caused by domestic violence can be a traumatic experience for children. Domestic violence can be between parents as well as against the child. In this case, it will be important for the parents to manage this process by getting psychological support of the child. In cases of divorce caused by domestic violence, children may experience situations such as fear of abandonment, attachment problems, and lack of self-confidence in their later lives. Parents' pressure on children to take sides, staying in between, and manipulation are details that negatively affect the child's psychological process.
Children may experience intense separation anxiety during the divorce process. Children in divorced couples; They may have concerns such as where I will be, who I will stay with, whether I will be able to see the other parent. They may also experience fear of abandonment along with separation anxiety. These fears and anxieties will also trigger worries about the future. Answering the child's questions, showing love and affection, and not reducing attention are the main important issues for parents to manage this process.
Observed in the children of divorced families possible reactions
In this process, the child's emotional and behavioral processes should be followed. Parents who have difficulty in managing this process can support the process by getting help from an expert. It is possible for children to experience regression in their reactions to this process. They can go back to infancy when they feel safe. This situation can be observed as baby talk and not wanting to leave the parents' side. It is a method that the child uses to cope with the emotional process he experiences. It is important that parents recognize the child's regression and give the necessary attention and affection. Children who are ignored due to the child's behavior can have dangerous consequences. Depressive behaviors, crying spells, aggressive behaviors can be observed. These behaviors of the child may be due to the fact that his needs are not met due to the thought of not being understood. Rather than asking families to suppress the child's feelings, it will be necessary to find the anxiety and fear underlying the behaviors shown, to recognize and understand the anxiety and fears of children, and to establish a healthy communication with children with appropriate feedback.
To get expert support in divorced families and children. It will help manage the process better and support the adaptation process.
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