What is the priority that motivates you to be with your partner? What is your biggest dream that you want to do together lately? Do you know the source of disappointment in your marriage for a while? When the spouses ask some such questions to each other, if the answer is forced and wrong, or it does not come at all, it is possible to say that your attention is disconnected from the depths of the marriage, that is, your marriage may be going on automatic pilot. Being together, being together at that moment is a choice, your priority is to be completely connected with him and to minimize the current stressors and inhibitors that will distract you, to offer the other party the attention and to establish a healthy relationship by staying close.
A surviving marriage does not happen all at once. In this age, people are very busy. Their responsibilities and workload have increased. There are millions of things to easily give attention to instead of a partner. For example, consider a conversation that took place in the kitchen. As if you are a partner who runs the house, sentences like this can be used. "Did you pay the bills? This week it's your turn to do the laundry. We will go shopping for dinner. Please stop by the carpenter on the way to school. Did you find someone to repair the roof of the house?” And many more sentences designed for you can be added here. While listening to these conversations from the outside, it seems like the smoothest and most catchy phrase to say that you are running a kind of family business. Well, while all this is happening, there are some ways that you can pay attention to, tighten your bonds and carry you to a warmer atmosphere.
1. Create rituals together.
This step will help connect you. An activity plan that you create together outside of your habits can be made quite simple and useful. Here, first, the spouses can come up with a skeleton of what they want to do by asking questions to each other. You need to adopt the principle of listening and understanding correctly as well as asking questions. Pillow chat ritual can warm you up even when you're just napping in bed. How was your day, have a nice day Two basic questions, such as whether you have ever had a difficult moment in your life, accompany the story of the day he spent and allow you to be with him. When sleeping with happy dreams and saying I love you becomes a tradition, it will be more enjoyable to fall asleep.
2. Forget the tech gadgets.
Technology is one of the most distracting obstacles at home. Two hands go to the phone, the whole ambiance can be spoiled with a notification sound. The screen always presents an interesting image, video, news that will attract attention. In such situations, when you are eating, watching a movie, or busy with a special activity, in order not to be exposed, at least picking up the phone at that time and heading towards the activity will make you much more comfortable.
3. Create a regular date night.
An appointment doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. All you have to do is make sure that you are completely focused on your spouse. The dates of these appointments are always clear. Prepare for each other. Eat something and just chat. Don't let your program prevent or delay it.
4. Be subtle.
Details deepen you. A healthy and enjoyable marriage does not happen by itself. Minds are always full of work, payments, children, friends, hobbies and more. It is a delicacy to be able to pay attention to the presence of your spouse as you go back and forth between all these. When you really give him your focus, you'll see that it's worth it.
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