Every divorce is a mourning process. It becomes a cycle of mourning-blaming-feeling depressed-ignoring and inadequacy. While people intend to move on, they do not have the chance to move forward by victimizing those left behind. Especially if there are children, they should regulate their behavior with maturity and awareness that divorce is an adult problem, without blaming each other or acting in a negative manner. They should not use a critical language and should express the mutually positive characteristics of motherhood and fatherhood roles in front of the child.
If one of the spouses still loves the other, what should be the attitude of the uninterested party?
Are you ending a relationship? Rescue is a team effort. A marriage with only one party's interest cannot be expected to last long. However, this does not mean that you should not fight for your marriage. The willingness of both parties is one of the most important steps for the recovery of the marriage, but the part of your story that concerns you is the part in which you are responsible. Other pathologies may underlie trying to maintain an unhappy marriage after doing your best. The person can be harmful to both his relationship and himself. Here, the person must analyze himself and his relationship correctly and evaluate himself.
How involved should the ex-spouse (if there are children) be in our lives?
After divorce, mother and father should come together on issues related to the child. There is no harm in the mother and father coming together in environments where the mother and father must be together, such as at a child's event, show, birthday, or parent-teacher meetings. However, other than these, they do not come together on issues unrelated to the child. Meetings and communication are not recommended. Giving children hope that they will make peace again causes children to experience disappointment. It is especially not recommended to go on vacation, go out to dinner, or do events together. The child misinterprets the concept of divorce. He/she may make many incompatible behaviors, lies and tricks to get back. While it is normal for the couple to divorce each other, it should be shown to the child that there is no divorce as a parent. The child should not be used as a means of communication between parents. Where was your father? Anna Who was it with? They should not ask the child for answers to private life questions such as these, nor should they ask each other. Mother and father should not speak accusingly or humiliating each other, especially in front of the child. When the relationship ends, the boundaries between them must be redrawn. Getting support before divorce on this issue will contribute to taking the right steps.
Conversations with the ex-spouse's family ( How often and at what level should it be?
Of course, the child can see and meet his/her grandparents, but there is no need for the other person to meet. Visits can be made on specified days and hours. Especially when the child is not present, the meeting with the father-in-law or mother-in-law should be ended if possible. There should be no regrets about the past, no wishes, and no news from the ex-spouse. When visiting with a child, the other party can bring their own parents or the child can be left behind for a few hours.
How do we prevent the ex-spouse from interfering in our lives on matters other than the child?
Boundaries must be determined down to the smallest detail before the divorce and must be clearly implemented after the divorce. If there is no compromise in order to establish a hungry lunar order, the difficult process will succeed in establishing its own harmony. Therefore, when spouses are divorcing, they need to plan their plans, arrangements, and meetings and contacts, especially those related to the child, in advance. Afterwards, it is very important that they do not provide flexibility to implement these systems. When concessions begin to be made, border violations are likely to occur. There should be no contact regarding anything other than the child. To prevent this, clarity of the new life order and stability of the rules are needed. Despite these, if your spouse is interfering, you can seek your rights legally.
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