As the school year approaches, students, teachers, and parents may feel joyful, hopeful, and perhaps even a little anxious. It begins in a period accompanied by many factors for students, who are the most important element of the school. On the one hand, lessons, on the other hand, homework accompanying the lessons, sleep problems, clothing requirements, responsibilities, obligations and the instructions, expectations, warnings they are subjected to by parents and teachers... This list is long and never ending. All of these directly or indirectly affect the student's relationship with the school.
When the student perceives his/her relationship with school as semantically negative, it manifests itself through behaviors such as not wanting to go to school, not attending classes when they do, not listening to lessons, and truancy. In some cases, even physiological complaints; It also presents with psychosomatic complaints such as abdominal pain, diarrhea, constipation, headache, nausea, vomiting, fever, flu, and cold. In all these symptoms, psychological causes should be considered after excluding a medical condition. For this; It should be determined when these symptoms appear, whether they are present at all hours of the day or whether they are observed during sleep times and as school hours approach. Maybe you should even see a doctor first.
The child who does not want to go to school first expresses this situation verbally, but as a result of the insistence, perhaps even pressure, of the parents and those around them that they should go to school, their physiological complaints begin. The mind of the child who thinks he cannot express himself finds more acceptable reasons. While one of the reasons for physiological complaints is the aforementioned issue, another reason is that the child's anxiety about school increases unconsciously and the child becomes unable to cope, resulting in the functioning of the active sympathetic nervous system.
First of all, if we talk about the child who has just started school; School, a big building, a lot of crowds that maybe he hasn't encountered before, desk culture, rules, separation from parents. All of these are a source of concern for the child, and if the child is informed about the environment, people and what will happen in the environment before he or she even starts school, and if accurate information is obtained from siblings at home who go to other schools, their anxiety will be eliminated. It can relax a little.
The situation is slightly different for children who do not want to go to school even though they are in higher grades. Here we mostly encounter two reasons. The first is seen in successful children, where it is seen as escaping from the situation where negativity is experienced due to test anxiety. The other one is related to those who have family problems, have low goal setting skills, have not developed enough sense of responsibility, and are exposed to situations at school, such as bullying.
All psychological problems, including situations such as not wanting to go to school or fear of school, definitely give us a clue. The correct question here would be what he wants to tell us rather than what lies behind the problem. Every psychological problem speaks to us, but not with words. Receiving this message will help both parents and the experts consulted in solving the problem. In this respect, the problem itself is a positive outcome.
Considering the possible reasons for the problem of not wanting to go to school; First of all, it is a worrying situation for the child in the family environment, he is worried about what will happen when he is not at home. Situations such as the birth of a new sibling or domestic violence may be examples. Anxiety related to separation from the mother is another situation that, if the school environment does not provide an environment that can adequately alleviate this situation of the child, it will ensure that the problem continues even though it has a chance to decrease over time. A neglected child in the family; For these children, even the problem is a tool that allows them to be taken care of. Therefore, it is necessary to carefully evaluate what the problem tells us. Situations of not wanting to go to school are encountered due to the absence of one of the parents or living outside the home for reasons such as work, or due to oppressive, perfectionist parental structures.
What to do when faced with this situation is; The first thing to do is not to panic, not to force the child, and not to worry the child about what the situation is like. The first thing to do is to speak openly. For this reason, “why don't you want to go to school?” Even a simple question like this can help. Everyone wants to be understood, and no one wants to be forced into something they don't want. It's the same with children. child a Knowing what you need to understand is the most important thing. He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to do it, that's all he can say. However, it is important that the individuals around him act in a way that will alleviate his concerns, and that adaptation studies to school be carried out for a few days or even a few weeks first.
It is also useful to give time for the child to grasp the process. The child goes to school, stays at school for a certain period of time, and then returns home. Time should be given for them to understand this cycle and their fears should be treated with patience and understanding. It may be necessary to explain it many times, but as long as you remember that this process is temporary, your patience will increase. First of all, it should be kept in mind that they are children and their own developmental processes may be different in terms of their comprehension, understanding and application, and one should be understanding.
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