Everyone wants to escape, but no one moves! Are we deceiving ourselves?
Lately, the desire to escape has been on the lips of many people and sometimes it is carried into the session rooms. This often takes shape as a discourse that begins with "I'm fed up" discourse and ends with dreams of escape. If I ask how long these thoughts have been in your life, the answer is often years. The desire to leave and inertia that has existed for years...
The human brain works by recognizing, designing and directing its needs. However, in these discourses there is a constant feeling of inertia and boredom caused by inaction. When we experience this in our lives, feelings of stuckness can create a perception of helplessness along with inaction, and things can become increasingly complicated. After a while, the awareness of our desire to take an action remains with us, and we may become depressed day by day because we cannot fulfill our desire.
So why don't we go? Or can't we go?
When we think about this, you can name many concrete "excuses". I say "excuse" because, no matter how logical these reasons are, they are reflections of other beliefs and feelings.
We think that whatever we are experiencing now that makes us suffer and tire, will be relieved in the future. On the one hand, this carries hope and allows us to continue life. On the other hand, the work to be done is postponed to the future.
Sometimes the future version of the life we live in seems so dangerous that we want to escape from this upcoming future, but at the moment we still haven't faced the danger and we can live, this prevents us from taking steps. Every step forward also means approaching the unknown, taking risks and taking responsibility, and all of this feels like a much heavier burden when you think about it. We experience many emotions together.
I'm going to leave this workplace, I'm fed up!
So when?
I don't know
Where
I don't know
You are very bored with some issues in this workplace and you are having difficulty coping, it seems like someone is running away but you are not aware that you are staying.
Yes
Dreaming of running away made you somewhat in tune with your emotions I think it gives the feeling of peace and comfort.
So, what is the pain that you can't bear?
…
Maybe this little conversation sounds familiar to you. Not thinking about the pain felt and fantasizing about escape is nothing more than an attempt not to feel the pain. However, we need that pain and understanding it. Moving forward without feeling the pain and seeing where it comes from will not become a real action. The current sources of blockage in your life have different origins and you should find them.
Expert Clinical Psychologist Nuray Sarp Kulkara
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